The Christmas He Loved Her (Bad Boys of Crystal Lake 2)

“Jesus Christ, Raine, don’t do this,” he said raggedly. “We can’t do this again.”

“Why not?” she whispered. “Why the hell not?”

Her eyes flew back to his, and she took a step forward but stopped when she saw the pain reflected in his gaze.

His chest rose and fell rapidly, and when he rolled his shoulders and rested his hands behind his head, she knew how conflicted he was. How aroused he was. And as he held her gaze, his beautiful dark eyes heavy with emotion, she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

And for once in her life, Raine was done playing it safe. She was done being afraid. Done thinking of others and putting herself last. Her hand fell to her mouth, and her fingers ran over her swollen lips—lips that were swollen from Jake’s mouth. That was the point of this, wasn’t it?

She didn’t want to think past her needs. Past what she wanted. She didn’t want to think past the one thing that maybe, just maybe, could force the demons away and fill the hole inside her.

Raine sank her forefinger into her hot, wet mouth and took another step toward Jake, watching the way his eyes, now hooded, glittered in the firelight, as he focused on her lips.

“I want you,” she said simply.

Jake shook his head and swore again. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” He nodded toward the table. “You’ve had too much wine, and now you’re just…you’re just…” He looked at her helplessly, and if she were a bigger person, she might even have felt sorry for him. He was conflicted, fighting his own inner demons, and she wasn’t helping him at all.

But she’d done this dance with him before and had been the bigger person. She had let him push her away, but now? Now she would take what she wanted, because she was done living in the shadows. Done feeling only half-alive—if that.

“I haven’t had too much wine, Jake. My head is clear and you need to know something. You need to listen to me.”

His dark eyes rested on her—tortured, yes, but hungry for a connection.

“I needed you once before, and maybe sex wasn’t the answer then, but at least it made me feel something, but now…now it’s not the need so much. It’s the want, and I’m not going to apologize for it. I want you. I want to make love with you. Right now. Do you know what kind of gift that is to me?”

Jake Edwards, one of her oldest and best friends, had returned home weeks ago, and she’d been slowly coming alive ever since. But she wanted more.

Her eyes rested on the bulge between his legs again. Hell yes, she wanted more.

Jake groaned, his hands now clenched into fists at his side, his dark gaze settled onto her with an intensity that struck a chord inside her.

She swallowed and took another step toward him.

“Raine, we can’t.” Jake shook his head, his mouth tight, a frown between his brows. “We just…”

“Why not?” She took another step, stalking him like a leopard after her prey, and now she was so close to him, she could feel how hot he was. His body heat was off the charts, and a thin film of sweat coated his skin like a sheet.

“Because…” he started roughly. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Why don’t you say what you really mean, Jake?” Raine inched closer and reached for him, resting her palms against his chest and feeling the strength of his heart beating inside.

“Because you’re Jesse’s wife, and you belong to him, and I never should have touched you. That night should never have happened.”

Raine took a moment to let his words roll around inside her brain. She blew out one long breath and gazed up at him.

“Jesse is dead.”

“What the hell kind of thing is that to say? You think I don’t know that?” he replied angrily. “God, you have no idea…you don’t know…”

“Jesse is dead,” she interrupted, her voice soft, “and it’s awful and painful and wrong. But he wouldn’t want me to stop living, and he wouldn’t want you stuck in this dark place that you’re in.”

Jake looked away.

“He wouldn’t want that.” Her breath caught. “I don’t want that. I’ve been living like the dead for way too long and—” She had to stop because her throat closed up, choked with emotion. “I don’t want to anymore.”

Her hand was on his cheek, and a tremulous smile crept over her face at the feel of his rough, day-old stubble beneath her fingers as he turned back to her.

Several moments passed as the two of them stared at each other in silence. And then she pressed her body against his, leaned up, and pulled his head down toward her. Her mouth rested just below his ear, and she kissed him lightly there, loving the way he shuddered against her.