Coming Home (Morelli Family 6)

She’s lost in thought now, but I take the look of sadness on her face as a good sign in this situation. Deep down I think she knows all of this is true. I think his danger is a major part of what she likes about him, but I have to believe she’s reasonable enough to understand his danger could actually get her killed. It’s not sexy if it gets you murdered.

“You said all this was your birthright.”

“It is. But I’d give it all up for you in a minute.”

Her smile is sad as she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me again. “There he is.”

Chapter Thirteen

Mia

Today is a depressing day.

I hate that I let Vince get inside my head, but Beth has always been a minor concern. I mean, when you get involved with a man you know murdered the last woman he was seriously involved with—a man who has told you that, when trying to convince your rose-colored-glasses-wearing ass that he really is evil—it has to make you a little nervous. Especially when you’ve been told countless times—and also by him—that you’re reminiscent of said murdered lover.

I hate that it doesn’t make me want to leave him, but it doesn’t. Vince isn’t inside my head because any part of me actually wants to leave Mateo. But there is that little niggling doubt in the back of my mind—what if he’s right? Especially because he’s not even the first Morelli today to tell me exactly the same thing. Rafe told me my time was almost up, and he has no incentive to wean me off Mateo like Vince does.

The last time multiple Morellis warned me about Mateo like this, they were all right. I bet on him, and I was wrong.

If they were right this time, it wouldn’t just be horrible—it would be my last act ever. Because I would actually be murdered by the man I love. This seems unfathomable to me, but it happens to women all over the world, women who aren’t even involved with men as dangerous as Mateo. Men who, to their knowledge, have not murdered previous girlfriends.

I’m 0 for 2, basically.

I spend my whole life betting on Mateo, and I’ve been wrong on more than one occasion. Actually it’s harder to think of a time when I’ve been right.

I hate this. I want to go back home so he can stabilize me. I don’t want reasonable doubts. I don’t want the dream to be pierced again. I don’t want people coming at me with their logical concerns, dammit. I want to be on a beach in the Bahamas with Mateo’s strong arms wrapped around me, his eyes warm with affection for me. I want hotel staff to call me Mrs. Morelli, and I want Mateo to be the reason.

I need to get the hell out of this place and back to my life, before they have enough time to convince me I don’t have a good thing to go back to.

Mateo should’ve never let me work at the bakery. He shouldn’t have let there be any chance for me to be taken like this. My mind is too goddamn easily tainted, and I don’t know how to change that about myself. Mateo has never tried, because it benefits him; as long as he’s present, doubts about him don’t have a long life expectancy. He likes me pliable, but only for him. I know that. I like that, too. I want him to swoop back in, wrap me up in his darkness and take me back home to live out the rest of my life, happily under his enchantment. I don’t care if I dine with monsters, as long as I don’t have to see them for what they are.

I need Mateo to save me from reality again.

But I’m also aware that Vince was right when he said this is the last place in the world Mateo would ever think to look for him, and by extension, me. Vince wouldn’t even move to live with his father when he was a kid; he chose to stay behind and live with Mateo instead. Vince despises his father. Vince despises the asshole Morelli who drove his mother to suicide, who raped Maria and produced Cherie as a result, and I honestly can’t believe he’d betray himself as well as them by doing this.

Mateo won’t think of this. He knows Vince well enough to know he wouldn’t go this far—only he has.

—

Another night passes with Vince. He doesn’t try to move beyond cuddling. I know I shouldn’t even let him do that, but I do. I don’t want to lead him on or give him any kind of false hope, but I also don’t want to fight insignificant battles and not have energy for the big ones. Mateo energizes me, but I don’t have him here so I need to pace myself.