The Imperfections

“Brant’s not pulling the wool over my eyes,” I assure her. “I might not know all the details about Nicole, but I do know who Brant is. I know who I’m marrying. I appreciate your concern, but you don’t have to worry about that.”

Bri doesn’t appear to be convinced. “You don’t, though. If he wasn’t worried about you bailing on him if you knew the truth, he would have told you. I might not know your relationship, but he does. He doesn’t want you to fear him, so he’s not telling you, but it’s not right.”

“I’m not afraid of him.”

Looking me dead in the eye, she says, “Maybe you should be.”

My stomach bottoms out, and I have to remind myself that Bri’s version of our whirlwind romance is so far from the truth, of course she thinks I’m in the dark. “I know what he’s capable of, Bri.”

“Do you?” she questions, searching my gaze. “Because I’m not sure, and I’m his twin sister.”

What does that mean, she’s not sure? I can’t help frowning. I assumed Bri knew the extent of it… is that not the case?

Bri turns away, but as she does, she starts talking. “My brother is an incredible man in a lot of ways, but in some of the most basic ways… he’s not.”

“No one’s perfect.”

Laughing a little, as if at a joke I’m not privy to, she says, “Oh, I know that.” Looking back at me over her shoulder, she meets my gaze. “Brant doesn’t, though. My brother is more unforgiving than anyone I have ever met. If he thinks you deserve it, he might give his trust once, but if you traipse on it, that’s it. It’s gone forever. You’ll spend the rest of your life on probation, if you’re that lucky. Judging from some of the brief interactions I’ve witnessed between you two, I feel like you might already be on probation, and if that’s the case, he’s going to make you miserable.”

I don’t know exactly what to say to that. I can’t refute her words. Earlier tonight, I felt like I was on probation after he got so mad at me over Theo.

“I don’t think he trusts you,” she says carefully, watching me. “Whatever his reason, that’s irrelevant. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. But if you think this is a bump in the road and you’ll get over it, he won’t. If you’ve lost his trust, he isn’t going to give it back. You will spend the rest of your relationship paying this debt, and when you get tired of it? What do you do then, Alyssa? He’s not going to divorce you. If you think that’s an option, God help you, because you are wrong.”

“No, I know that. He already told me he’s never getting a divorce, but…I don’t know, I like that kind of devotion. I’d rather be with a man thoroughly intent on keeping me than one who’s okay with losing me.”

“I can see how that sounds romantic to you, but it’s not healthy, Alyssa. When Brant is in a relationship, he takes the commitment a little too seriously. It’s like he owns you, and you’re not allowed to change your mind.”

“But it’s like I own him, too,” I tell her. “It’s not one-sided. He’s not unfair about it. He belongs to me and I belong to him. What’s wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong with it is that people have free will and they grow and change, and sometimes… sometimes they outgrow people and relationships. Sometimes they make mistakes, and relationships with normal people evolve as they develop, but there’s no evolution with Brant. He doesn’t let relationships end, and that’s why he’s spent so many years avoiding them. He knows he’s not a healthy partner. Maybe he’s willing to inflict himself on you, but that worries me, Alyssa. Maybe he’s willing to take a chance on you because he’s not too worried about what happens if it doesn’t work out.”

“I don’t like any of this,” I tell her, uncomfortable with the way she’s talking about him. “Nicole cheated on him, right? So, whatever happened to her, that sucks, but it’s not going to happen to me. I am not a cheater. Brant has made it abundantly clear to me that he expects me to uphold my vows, and frankly, I would even if he hadn’t. I wouldn’t make that kind of commitment if I didn’t mean it.”

“Everybody means it when the relationship is new, Alyssa. You can’t know how you’ll feel in a few years.”

“It doesn’t matter how I feel. I would never betray the man I love, the man I’m building a life and a family with. I wouldn’t hurt him that way just because I’m in a mood. I’m not afraid of Brant because I am never going to betray him. If I have to pay someone else’s debt for a little while, so be it, but I don’t think it will last forever. I think I’ll get through to him eventually, but if I’m wrong, that just means he’s hurt deeper than I thought he was. That’s no reason to turn on him. I like Brant because he’s loyal and protective. I’m loyal and protective, too, and I’m always going to protect him—from everyone.”