Cruel Legacy

As she drove towards the hospital she realised for the first time what it felt like to be on the other side of things, what it felt like to be a mother whose child lay ill or injured in alien surroundings.

It wasn’t Sally the professional, the nurse who parked her car haphazardly and then ran all the way to the hospital entrance, but Sally the mother.

She saw Joel first.

He was standing with his back towards her outside the doors that led to the children’s ward.

‘Joel, where’s Cathy?’ she demanded as he turned round and saw her. ‘What happened… what’s wrong…?’

‘They don’t know,’ Joel told her tersely. ‘They think it could be appendicitis.’

Appendicitis… Sally felt the floor start to give way beneath her as her leg

s threatened to buckle.

They had had a teenager in only last month but his condition had been caught too late, after the appendix had burst, and he had died soon after admission.

Appendicitis—the word trickled into her consciousness like ice-cold water filtering through her brain, ice-cold water tinged with an acid which left an afterburn that made her want to scream in pain and denial.

Why on earth hadn’t she listened this morning when Cathy had complained that she didn’t feel well? But she had been more concerned with seeing Kenneth than her daughter’s health, she told herself bitterly…

‘Where is she…? I must see her.’

‘You can’t… the specialist is with her. Where the hell have you been?’ Joel added, demanding, ‘I’ve been ringing your bloody sister’s for the last two hours.’

‘I—we got delayed,’ Sally told him.

Oh, why wasn’t I here; why didn’t I know? Anguish and guilt filled her.

‘Where’s Paul?’ she demanded anxiously. ‘He…’

‘He’s just gone to get us both a cup of coffee. I thought it would give him something to do. I rang the school and asked them to send him straight here. I didn’t want him going home and being on his own, worrying…’

Sally flinched as she caught the accusatory note in his voice. ‘It wasn’t my fault I wasn’t there,’ she protested defensively.

‘No, but you were the one who insisted on Cathy going to school this morning, weren’t you, just so that you could go out with your bloody sister?’

Joel knew he was over-reacting, punishing Sally for something that was not her fault, but he had never felt so afraid or so atone in all his life as he had done when Cathy had turned up at the leisure centre looking so very ill.

‘The teacher at school said I should come home, but no one was there so I came here,’ she had told him. ‘You don’t mind, do you, Dad?’

‘No, of course not!’ Joel had been able to see that she was in great pain. They had gone home, but as the pain had got worse Joel had decided he needed to get her straight to hospital. Frantic with worry, but trying not to show it, he had attempted to reach Sally on the phone, having to leave her a hasty note when his calls went unanswered. Cathy had been terrified when he had insisted on bringing her to hospital, but too weak to do anything about it when he had handed her gently into the car.

He had never needed or wanted Sally more in all his life, but the minutes and then the hours had ticked away and still Sally hadn’t come, nor had anyone answered at Daphne’s even then.

Now his fear had turned to anger, and, although he wanted to call back his words when he saw Sally’s white face, somehow he just couldn’t do so.

Not man enough, an inner voice taunted him, but before he could answer it the ward doors swung open and a nurse came hurrying towards them.

‘Ah, Sally, you finally made it,’ she greeted Sally, and then, turning her back on her, she addressed herself to Joel, telling him, ‘It’s all right, Mr Bruton. The specialist is sure that it isn’t appendicitis. He thinks it’s more likely to be a particularly virulent strain of stomach bug that’s been doing the rounds recently, but we’ll keep her in overnight just to be on the safe side.’

Sister Fuller had never liked her, Sally acknowledged. She was one of the old school, devoted to her young patients, but thoroughly disapproving of mothers who worked, even if it was in the field of nursing.

‘You can see your daughter now if you like,’ she continued, still keeping her back to Sally and addressing herself to Joel.

A movement at the far end of the corridor caught Sally’s eye and as she turned her head she saw Paul coming towards them. When he saw the nurse talking to Joel he tensed and started to run.

‘It’s all right,’ Joel reassured him, reaching out to him before Sally could say or do anything, putting his arm around his shoulders and drawing him protectively towards him as he told him, ‘Cathy’s going to be OK.’