The F-Word

“Puppy pee and baby drool will do that,” my sister says. “So forget the compliments and get to the favor. What is it you need from me?”

“I need you to take her shopping.”

“Bailey?”

“Yes.”

“To buy some clothes for this wedding?”

“Right.”

“How does she feel about that? Shopping is a personal kind of thing.”

“I see packs of women in stores all the time.”

“What you see are friends,” my sister says, a little coldly, “not packs. And they’re just bonding.”

“Whatever. The question is, are you willing to do it?”

I feel a tug at my sleeve. I pivot and there’s Bailey, staring at me and shaking her head frantically from side to side.

“Take Bailey shopping?”

“Yes.” I glare at Bailey. “Take Bailey shopping.”

More head-shaking. I turn away. No good. Bailey turns with me.

“When?” Casey asks.

“Today.”

“The wedding is this weekend?”

“Right.” Bailey digs her fingers into my arm. I mouth Stop that! and shake free. “I know it’s last minute, but—”

“I’d have to leave all this pee-and-poop behind, bribe Mongo with a butterscotch cookie so I can corral him into his crate, ask Liam to leave work early so he can pick up Jenny…”

“Yeah. Right. I understand. I should have figured—”

“Where am I meeting Bailey and when?”

“You mean you’ll do it?”

Casey gives a very unladylike snort. It’s a nice counterpoint to the punches I’m taking in the biceps. Turns out Bailey has a pretty good right.

“Of course. I love Bailey. If she needs me, she’s got me. Just give me ten minutes to shower and change into something that won’t make people scream and run.”

“Where?”

Bailey is shaking her head from side to side the way Walter did this morning, after he came in from the rain.

Casey names a mall maybe twenty minutes from my office.

“It’s upscale,” she tells me. “Lots of good stores. Small ones. Big ones. We can find everything we…Uh oh.”

“Uh oh, what?”

“This is going to be an expensive afternoon, Matt. I’m sure you pay Bailey well, but…Maybe you’d better ask her to give me some parameters.”