The pain in my chest blossoms like an ugly glower. “I have to go,” I say suddenly.
“Okay. I understand.” I hear him take an audible breath, but his voice sounds tight. “Tell Charlie he’s an asshole for me.”
“Will fucking do.”
“Bye, Sul.”
“Bye, Beckett.” I hang up and rise to a full stance.
Charlie stares from me to the cell in my hand like he can manifest his brother in this bait & tackle shop.
“We’re even,” I say.
Charlie’s lips press together, and then he says, “For every day I have to keep your secret, you have to call my brother.”
Anger flares. “That wasn’t the deal, Charlie.”
“It’s a new deal.” He pulls a sweater over his head, the color of winterberries. While he fits his arms through the holes, he adds, “Take it or leave it. It’s up to you.”
I have a feeling he’ll just find a new creative way to get me to talk to Beckett if I don’t.
And anyway, this deal is in my favor. I have more reassurance that he won’t tell anyone about the kiss. Not if there’s something consistently in it for him.
He has to know he gave me some power. Maybe he even wanted that.
I don’t try to descend inside Charlie’s head. All I do is hold out my pinky finger. “Deal.”
He stares at my finger.
Rolling his eyes, Charlie locks his pinky with mine.
33
BANKS MORETTI
Charlie Cobalt saw Akara and Sulli kiss.
Fuck my motherfucking life.
I’ll admit a seed of jealousy was planted somewhere on this trip, but it barely grew. It was a sprout.
My little sprout-ling of jealousy just ate fertilizer and grew into a giant beanstalk with the world’s longest thorns. And somehow, it’s growing inside me. Twisting around my organs.
Green doesn’t even look good on me. I prefer blue. But I can’t help it. I’m stupidly envious.
Truth: I wish Charlie caught me kissing Sulli. It wouldn’t solve a goddamn thing, but it’d help the knot in my throat.
“This doesn’t change anything,” Akara whispers as the three of us hike through the dense woods. He carries Sulli’s rope on his arm while Sulli grips her harness and a water bottle, sweat dripping down her temples. She just finished practicing Rattlesnake Knuckle for the day.
And everyone from the RV camp was there watching. Her cousins. And Oscar, Thatcher, Farrow. I was quietly pissy and in my feelings, but only Thatcher and Akara could tell. Sulli probably could more once she was on the ground.
Now that the RV glampers are off to their cushy pads, Akara is ready for my “silent brooding” to end and he’s pushing me to talk about it. So now I have to talk about the green monster inside me. He already knows it’s there.
While we pass towering tree after tree, Akara tells me, “Charlie’s not going to tell anyone as long as Sulli keeps calling Beckett.”
“And I will keep calling,” Sulli assures me. “I’m following through.”
Tendons in my shoulders and neck pull taut. Still tensed, I whack a branch out of my face. “Even if you call Beckett every minute of the day, I don’t trust Charlie to keep his word.” And then what—everyone knows Akara and Sulli kissed. My chances with her have plummeted to the darkest depths of the deep sea.
I knew my chances already existed there.
I’ve been chasing rejection from the start. But it doesn’t change the despair inside me, which feels like a fatal wound, the final blow.
“Hey, I barely trust Charlie too,” Akara admits in a friendly tone, “but it doesn’t change things between the three of us.” He’s still trying to deescalate my jealousy.
A rough laugh sticks to my throat. “If this is a race, Akara, you’re at the fucking finish line.”
“That’s not true.” Sulli stops in her tracks on the slope of a wooded hill.
Akara and I halt further down the incline and turn to face her.
She gives me a hard look, then Akara. “I’m not going to base this decision on what other people know. If I did, I would have picked Banks days ago when Akara friend-zoned me in front of everyone.” Her gaze hits mine. “And Jane thinks you like me.”
Akara whips his head to me. “Did you tell Jane something?”
I honestly can’t remember what I said to Jane at the motel.
“No,” I say, then scowl in a grimace. “I told my brother Sulli and I kissed—”
“You idiot,” Akara snaps.
“Hey, hey.” Sulli races down the hill. Coming between us fast, she puts a hand to my chest and then Akara’s. We’re actually not moving in towards each other. We’re just glaring. But I’m not gonna move the mermaid. I like her where she is.
To Akara, I say, “That was ages ago. Back at the motel before I even knew you two kissed.”
Akara’s shoulders slacken, relaxing.
I add, “My brother promised he wouldn’t tell anyone. Not even Jane. She probably just thinks I like Sulli because I do. I’m not as good at hiding my feelings as you.”