Blind Love (Cowboys & Angels 5)

Confusion washed over his face while his gaze searched mine for answers.

“What are you talking about?”

I tried to step out of his hold, but he held onto me.

“Let me go, Tripp.”

“Tell me what in the fuck you mean, Harley…now.”

Standing straighter, I pulled in a deep breath and attempted to steady my voice.

“Let. Go. Of. Me.”

His hands instantly dropped to his sides, but his voice stayed hard. “Talk. Now.”

I turned away and stared out the large window. All those years I had practiced how I wanted to tell him, and now I had nothing. My mind was completely blank.

“That day I told you I met someone? I lied.”

“Why?” his voice was laced with hurt and anger.

I faced him. “You were about to give up your dreams to help me chase mine, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

He stared at me like I’d lost my damn mind. “You fucking asked me to come with you! You asked me to leave Oak Springs. I told you I would.”

“I heard you talking to your father at the hospital! I heard what you said. You wouldn’t have been happy if you had left. It took me a while to realize I couldn’t allow you to follow me. For a few minutes I was going to let you. I had every intention of letting you leave Oak Springs because in my mind I thought we could have a few years of seeing the world together and then we’d moved back here. Start the life you wanted after we lived the life I wanted.”

He let out a confused chuckle. “And what the fuck happened? Your mind just switched like that and you decided you didn’t want me with you?”

“No!” I cried out. “I heard you tell your father you didn’t want to leave, that you were only doing it for me. When I heard him say you would resent me…I couldn’t bear the thought. I knew if I asked you about that conversation, you’d deny the possibility of ever resenting me.”

He started pacing before walking right up to me. He was so close I could practically hear his heart racing.

“So you decided to end us right then and there. You made that choice for both of us?”

Tears streamed down my face.

“I panicked, Tripp! Once I realized what I’d done, I wanted to take it back but it was too late. I tried calling you and came to town to talk to you…I planned on telling you the truth. I was going to move back to Oak Springs after vet school. I wanted to tell you how stupid I had been and beg you to forgive me, but you refused to even talk to me. For years I begged you and you constantly ignored me! It wasn’t something I wanted to leave on your goddamn voicemail.”

He shook his head. “I would think not. You fucking destroyed us, made my life a living hell for years! All because you panicked.”

“Your life? How do you think I’ve felt? I’ve had to live with the regret of walking away. At the time, I did what I thought was right. I knew the only way to keep you from following me was to lie about a guy. I stupidly thought I could explain it away later. That didn’t happen because you never gave me the chance. For Christ’s sake, Tripp, you were leaving town whenever you heard I was here! Did you even read the letter I sent you?”

He gave me a look of pure hate. I gasped at his expression and took a few steps back. He was beyond angry, and I didn’t blame him, but damn it, so was I.

“Who’s Al?”

My brows pinched together. “What?”

He pointed at me. “Don’t fucking lie to me anymore, Harley! Who the fuck is this guy Al you moved to Dallas with.”

It took me a few seconds before it hit me.

“Alison? I moved to Dallas with a girl named Alison. Her nickname was Al. We rented a two-bedroom loft apartment downtown until she started partying and getting into drugs. I kicked her out not long after we moved.”

Tripp stared at me as he processed what I was saying. All those years he had thought I moved to Dallas with a man? That explained the ignoring me, to some degree.

“Who told you I moved to Dallas with a guy?” I asked.

He raked his hand through his hair and paced again. “It doesn’t matter. How could you have done this to us, Harley? I wouldn’t have regretted going with you.”

“Really? Can you honestly tell me that putting off starting your life and your career wouldn’t have made you a little resentful? I heard you telling your father you were only doing it for me. I couldn’t risk you hating me…or your family hating me for taking you away. I was young and caught up in stupid stories my aunt filled my head with. I did what I thought was right at the time. Can you honestly tell me you wouldn’t have regretted leaving in some way?”