Spun (Kings of Chaos 1)

“What?” I narrow my eyes and shake my head, unable to fully comprehend his words. My man was granite. Nothing could touch him.

“We really need to get you to the hospital.”

“Hospital?” My head spins and my knees grow weak. I clutch the counter in front of me to remain upright.

“It was a hit and run, baby. He’s on the operating table right now. I came to get you.”

“Surgery?” I whisper.

“Yes. Come on, Nevy, I’ll take you.”

“B-but the shop.” I turn to look at the crew that gathers around me.

“They can handle it.”

“Just go, boss,” Jenna says.

I nod my head and take my father’s offered hand. Nothing matters right now but getting to Gage. I cling to my dad like a small child and force my legs to function. I feel disconnected from my body as I run the nightmarish scenarios over and over in my head. Accidents are almost a coffin guarantee. Car versus motorcycle. It’s a no brainer. “Dad, how bad off is he?” I whisper.

“I don’t know.”

I squeeze his hand. “You’ve always been straight up with me. Don’t sugar coat it now.”

“It’s touch and go.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. There’s no life without Wizard in it. He brought color and joy back to me. The landscape without his presence is bleak and barren. I gather my emotions into a ball and shove them to the back of my mind. Whatever the outcome, he needs me there present and at his side the moment I’m able to be. I owe him that much. The fresh air helps clear my head and I stand up straight, carrying myself with the grace of an old lady who’s solid. I follow my father to his bike, and climb on behind him. It feels wrong. He’s not lean and tall, and he sure as hell doesn’t smell like Wizard. I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his cut to hide the tears I can’t keep from falling.

I go against the grain and allow myself to take comfort from my father. Things have been different between us since he returned. Maybe having me become an old lady took the pressure off him that had made him an asshole. Either way, I’m grateful as hell to have him right now. By the time we pull into the hospital parking lot, the wind has dried up my tears. I feel like I’m in a long, dark tunnel as we walk inside. The press of people with the worry, stress, and sickness coming off of them in waves has me feeling claustrophobic. I gulp down air, feeling like a woman about to sink below the surface of quicksand.

“This way.” My father guides me down the hallway.

“Please tell me we have a lead on the person who did this?”

My father turns toward me. Anger flashes in his eyes. “We have someone on it. That’s all you need to know.”

He put me in my place. I knew I was overstepping my boundaries. Right now, I’m grasping at straws to keep my mind from launching into cause of death scenarios. I nod my head quickly and study the white floor with flecks of color. There are a million tiny round circles that hold the imprint of the others who’ve come before me. I hear a murmur of the voices. Glancing up, I spot the small group of KOC members posted in a corner.

Stone stands up and I hold my breath.

“Any news, P?” Dad asks.

“No, we’re still waiting.” He looks over at me. “How you doing, darling?”

I shrug, unable to speak around the golf ball lodged in my throat. I begin to pace the length of the section where we are while peering out the windows. It’s amazing that the day could remain beautiful and sunny when my world is coming apart at the seams. I replay the past year over in my head. We’d had a lot of good times and some bad. It’d been an adjustment becoming beholden to someone else. He liked his freedom and I liked to hide. It’d been a cluster fuck we’d untangled because we loved each other. Love. The word slammed into my chest like a sledgehammer. God, how had I not realized how deep in I was? What if he never knows how I feel? The thought haunts me. So many times, the words were on the tip of my tongue, but I would swallow them back down like a coward. When he comes out of this, I’ll tell him. I hold the word when close to my heart. The other outcome isn’t an option. We weren’t brought together to be torn apart this soon. Please, God, bring him through this!

The minutes crawl by. The men come and go in shifts. It makes me think the accident wasn’t what it seems. It’s not my business, so I don’t ask. A nurse in a pea green smock walks by and I hold my breath. When she continues on her way I release the strangle hold I’ve placed on my lungs. I suck in air and I clear my throat, to offset the dryness.

“Maybe you should get some fresh air,” my father suggests.

“No. I want to be here when the doctor comes back.”

He opens his mouth to speak.

I glare at him.

He closes it and looks away.

He doesn’t understand the way I feel. Whatever he had with my mother wasn’t love. Not the way they treated one another. It was a one-night stand turned into a lifetime commitment. I roll my shoulders to ease my stiff muscles and return to looking out the window.