Walk the Line (Kings of Chaos 5)

“Not that I’m complaining, but what brought that on?”

“Just needed you.”

“Everything okay?”

I pause unsure how to answer. Sharing has never been my forte. This is where I’d be drinking, fighting, or screwing. All three if I needed to decompress badly enough. The voice inside my head tells me she doesn’t want to hear my broken boy problems. I’m a man. What I went through in my childhood should be firmly rooted in my past. It makes me weak. My job is to protect her and make her feel safe, not act like a bitch.

“Jagger?” She places a face on my hand, and I cringe at the soft tone.

I pull out and tangle her limbs, pissed that she can see through me. I’m not used to being read.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

I pull my pants up, re-buckle my belt. “Nothing.”

She tilts her head and purses her lips. “Clearly that’s not the case.”

If you push her away like you do everyone else, she’s going to leave.

I grit my teeth and silence the demons mocking me. “I don’t know. Weird argument at work.”

She sits up and smooths the shirt down around her legs like she wasn’t just fucked within in an inch of her life. I smirk as I start to pace, to expend the energy building up inside me.

“I get you grew up with no one caring for you. You’re used to dealing with everything alone, and it’s probably hard as hell to share. But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. Without good communication, we have nothing. I refuse to go through another relationship where I’m left out in the cold. There’s nothing worse than feeling utterly alone when you’re with the person you love.”

I bite the bullet because it’s no longer about me. “I got into it with my mentor, and it dredged up some ugly memories. There are few people whose opinions really mean something to me. Stone, my President, a few of the other brothers with good heads on their shoulders, and Warp.”

“The one who you met in jail?”

“Yeah, t

hat’s Warp.” I’m pleased she’s been listening to me.

“I’m sorry. It always sucks when we’re at odds with people who mean a lot to us. What happened?”

“He thinks we’re moving too fast. Said I was jumping the gun and a bunch of other things I’m not going to repeat because it’ll only piss me off again.”

She frowns. “Did he say why he felt that way?”

“Too much change too fast. He questions your loyalty to me. He’s like that with everyone. You have to prove yourself with him. Too much time on the road has made him paranoid.”

“I get that, but it’s more than that if you’re fighting about it. He doesn’t even know me. I thought I was on good terms with everyone I’ve met in the club.”

“You are. It’s not you. It’s everything he thinks you represent.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re rich.”

“That’s bull.”

“I agree, B. Having him shut me out like that, because of a difference opinion has me off kilter. I never realized how much I think of him as my family, more than the club. He’s the closest thing I have to a father.” The admission is enlightening. “Holy shit.”

“What?”

“I didn’t realize I felt that way about him.”

She stands and walks over to me. “All kids disagree with their parents. Stepping away to cool off isn’t a bad thing. Give it time. Let us meet. I have no problem going to bat for you.”