One Night with a Nutcracker (Reindeer Falls)

Not that I think I’m in love with Jake. That’s silly. I love my goats. I love my business. But my archnemesis who’s trying to destroy my life while being ridiculously good in the sack? No, I’m not quite as Pollyanna as Maggie.

But I do… like him.

Love is about feeling totally at peace with someone, and trusting that you have shared goals for the future, such as growing old together while sitting in rocking chairs outside the Airstream.

Which, yes, okay, Jake makes me feel safer and more at peace than anyone ever has. But he also pisses me off.

So no, I’m not in love. And Maggie can’t possibly be either. Not really.

“I know I talked a lot of shit about Ryan,” Maggie admits. “But it’s because I just misunderstood him and I was deflecting having feelings for him. He was having a hard time with his uncle passing and with Christmas and all of that… it was really my bad. He’s perfect, though, and we’re meant for each other.”

Oh, Maggie. This is the cost of watching a billion Hallmark movies while reading a billion and one Christmas novels.

I bite my lip, treading carefully. “Are you though, or is this just your fantasy about falling in love at Christmas talking?”

I watch the hurt flash across Maggie’s face. Maggie’s dealt with her fair share of shit, and I know I’m delivering some hard truths. But maybe we all need some hard truths right now.

Like me and Jake, for example. Of course we aren’t falling for each other. Ha ha. We’re holiday hate-fucking, which everyone knows is a thing. We’re enemies. On opposite sides. It’s just the indisputably erotic nature of snow and holiday lights at play here.

“No, of course not,” Maggie says, shaking her head. “This is the real deal, guys. He’s forever material!”

I glance at Lexi again. I’m waiting for her to step in and take the reins of the sleigh, so to speak, but clearly, she thinks this is my fruitcake to detonate.

“Jake says Ryan’s headed back to Chicago as soon as the house is sold,” I finally say, even though honestly? I hate saying it. Maggie is a sweetheart and of course I want her to get her Holiday Ever After, but this is real life, not a Hallmark movie.

Maggie laughs, clearly waiting for me to say, “Just kidding!” But I can’t tell her that. Because as much as I don’t want to see my friend hurt, I refuse to lie to her.

“Nope, no way,” Maggie says, shaking her head. “Sorry, Sutton, but you’re wrong on this one. You should see him. He’s really getting into doing work around the… wait. Jake? What’s going on with you and Jake? Are you banging Jake?”

“Obviously.” I nod, waving the question away and trying to get her to focus on herself.

“Oh, snap.” Lexi looks at me like I’ve been holding out on her. Which I have. I’ve been very busy banging Jake.

“I thought you said Jake Sheppard was your archnemesis,” Maggie says, narrowing her eyes at me in suspicion.

I sigh. I have got to get this sled back on track. “I just think you should be careful,” I tell Maggie. Because I care about her, and because it’s true.

“Yeah, just be careful, Mags,” Lexi jumps in. I’m thankful for the support until she turns to me and says, “And Sutton? We are most definitely talking about Jake Sheppard next.”

“Sure, Lexi,” I agree nonchalantly before slyly saying, “Say, how is your engagement to Carter Sheppard going?”

“Fake engagement!” Lexi huffs. “You know it’s just a business deal.”

“Right, right.” I nod, because I’m not buying any of it. “All so when you get fake-divorced you get custody of the dog? Are you getting dog support out of this deal too?”

“Ohhh,” Maggie jumps in, clearly happy to move the focus to Lexi. “Good question.”

“Lexi had the biggest crush on Carter back in high school,” I confide to Maggie, lowering my voice a little even though Lexi is sitting right here and can clearly hear me.

Lexi groans and drops her forehead into her palm.

I smile a little behind my mug. I’m updating my personal motto to ‘peace, love, goats and espionage.’ “She used to practice writing ‘Mrs Carter Sheppard’ all over the inside of her notebook during French class.”

“I did not,” Lexi sputters, eyes wide.

She so did.

“The point of today’s discussion is Maggie,” Lexi reminds us, sitting up straight and doing her best to look librarian-stern.

“Whatevs,” Maggie says. “Ryan told me to come over later because he wants to tell me something, and I think he’s probably going to ask me to spend Christmas with him.”

I try to smile at her, even though I’m pretty sure that’s not why he asked her to come over. If anything, he might be initiating the “we’re over” conversation. Or worse, “we’re over, and can you watch my house for me while I skip back to the city?”