The Millionaire Claims His Wife
“Cross my heart and hope to gain two inches around my hips,” Annie said, “this is delicious.”
“And can the innocent act.” Deb slipped another piece of pizza from the box. “Nobody could be as busy as you claim to be, not unless you’ve given up eating and sleeping. You’ve turned into the ‘no’ girl. No, you don’t want to go to the movies, not even when Liam Neeson’s on the screen. No, you don’t want to go to the mall, even if Lord and Taylor’s got a fifty percent clearance.”
“I’m sorry, Deb. Really, I am, but as I said, I’ve been—”
“And.” Deb said, stealing a slice of pepperoni from the pizza still in the box, “instead of sharing the good stuff with me, which is the duty of a true-blue friend, you let me find it out all on my own.”
Annie’s smile stiffened. Nobody knew what had happened on that island. Nobody even knew she’d gone away with Chase, except for Dawn and Nick.
“What ‘good stuff’?”
“You know.”
“I don’t, or I wouldn’t be asking. Come on, Deb. What are you talking about?”
Deb shoved aside her plate and pulled the tab on her can of soda.
“Well, for openers, when were you going to tell me you gave Milton Hoffman the old heave-ho?”
“Oh. That.”
“Yeah. That. Not that I wasn’t happy to hear it. Milton’s a nice guy, but he’s not for you.”
“Where did you hear—”
“I bumped into him at the Stop And Shop the other day.” Deb leaned closer. “Did you know that he eats low-fat granola?”
I’m not surprised, Annie said to herself, then scowled for thinking something so unkind.
“Well, so what?” she said staunchly. “That doesn’t make him a bad person. Besides, if you wanted to know if I was still seeing him or not, you could have just asked me. You didn’t have to buttonhole poor Milton.”
“I did not buttonhole poor Milton! He was standing in front of the cereal display, looking unhappy, and I wheeled my cart up to his and said he might want to try the oatmeal, or maybe the All-Bran, depending on his needs. I mean, who knows what’s going on under that shiny suit? And he gave me this look that reminded me of a basset hound I once had... Did I know you then? He was the dearest little dog, but—”
“Dammit, Deb, what did Milton say?”
“He just asked if I’d seen you around lately. And I said well, I’d gone to lunch with you a few weeks back. And he said that was more than he’d done. And I said—”
“Whoa.” Annie held up her hands. “Let me simplify things, okay? Milton’s a lovely man. A delightful man. But...”
“But?”
“But, we’re just friends.”
“He seemed to think you’d once been something more.” Deb picked up another piece of pizza. “Like, you’d maybe had serious plans.”
“No! We never...” Annie put her hands over her face. “Oh gosh. I feel terrible.”
Deb gave a delicate burp. “The pizza’s a killer, I admit, but it’s not that bad.”
“Not the pizza. Milton.”
“You led him on,” Deb said, clucking her tongue.
“No. Yes. Damn! I suppose I did,” Annie said, and told Deb about what had happened at the wedding, and how she’d put on an act for Chase’s benefit. “But I cleared things up the next week,” she added quickly. “I explained that—that I’d said some things I hadn’t really meant and—and...”
“You broke his little heart,” Deb said solemnly, and then she grinned and lightly punched Annie in the arm. “Don’t look like that! I’m exaggerating. Milton looked absolutely fine. Happier than I’ve ever seen him, to tell the truth, and halfway through our chat a woman came waltzing over from the produce aisle and looped her arm through his. Her name’s Molly Something-or-other, she’s new in the English department and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what’s happening between them when she dropped her head of cabbage into the cart next to his box of granola.”
Annie sighed with relief. “I’m glad.”
“Milton said to say hi if I saw you, so here I am, saying hi.”
“Honestly, Deb—”
“Honestly, Annie, why didn’t you tell me you went off and spent the weekend after the wedding with your gorgeous ex?”
Annie turned bright red to the roots of her hair. “What are you talking about?”
“Dawn told me.” Deb reached for a piece of pizza, bit into it and chewed thoughtfully. “I met her in the detergent aisle.”