The Sophomore (College Years 2)

“People put skimmers on those things. Scam card readers so they can make new cards out of your number and charge it up.”

“They won’t get far. I don’t have a lot of money in my account,” she says, her voice wry.

“Yeah, but they could wipe you out fast and then your bank won’t replace it for a couple of weeks while they investigate it,” I point out.

She turns to face me. “Guess it’s the chance I have to take.”

“You should try and get a credit card,” I say, remaining outwardly calm. Inside, I want to scream at her, why doesn’t anyone explain these things to you? Why doesn’t anyone take care of you?

Like I want to be the one to take care of her, but sometimes I can barely take care of myself.

“I tried. I didn’t get one.” She shrugs. “I don’t make enough. Or they want me to pay two hundred dollars so I can have a four-hundred-dollar credit limit or whatever. I can’t afford to have two hundred dollars just tied up in some weird credit card that feels like a scam.”

I unscrew the top of the gas can before inserting the nozzle inside. “Wait a few months. You can probably get a credit card on campus. The companies always seem to have booths in the quad, trying to get you to sign up. The student offers are pretty good.”

Diego got one and they gave him a fifteen-hundred-dollar credit limit. He couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. Credit cards scare me. What if I run up a balance that I can’t afford?” she asks, frowning.

“Then you make the minimum payment and pay it off,” I explain.

“Right and pay sky high interest on stuff that I don’t need.” She shakes her head.

“Sometimes we need things we can’t afford,” I point out.

“I’m sure you know so much about that.” Her tone is l

aced with faint hostility.

As calmly as I can, I finish filling the plastic can, put the lid back on it and set it carefully in the trunk of my car. If that thing spills, that’ll suck major ass, but like precious Ellie just said, it’s the chance I’ll have to take.

It’s only when we’re finally back in my car do I speak again.

“What exactly did you mean by that?”

“Mean by what?” she asks, sounding genuinely confused.

“When you said I know so much about needing things we can’t afford?” I start the engine and pull away from the gas pumps, turning onto the street and stopping at the intersection, waiting for the light to change.

A sigh escapes her. “Jackson, you never have to wait for anything. You get whatever you want, whenever you want it.”

Not true, I think to myself. But I don’t bother correcting her.

“You don’t know what it’s like to struggle financially. Your dad pays for everything. And I’m not jealous, or mad about it. I’ve been around that sort of thing since Ava and I became such good friends. I’m used to it. I benefit from my friends’ good fortune. But I wasn’t born into a wealthy family. Not even close. I have to work and save and sometimes struggle a little bit. It’s not fun, but I also know my life isn’t so bad. I have a lot of things to be grateful for,” she says, sounding so logical. Downright content, even.

She goes silent for a moment and I absorb her words. I never really thought about Ellie’s financial circumstance before. I mean, it’s obvious. The old Saturn is what finally tipped me off and made me realize she comes from a middle-class family. Nothing wrong with that, of course. Though I wonder if Ellie realizes that.

“So no, I don’t really want you to tow my car to a mechanic shop, because I won’t be able to afford fixing my car. My parents can’t either. I’m praying all it is, is a gas problem and that’s it,” she further explains, sinking into the seat with a soft sigh.

I’m quiet as I drive back to her car, hoping that it’s only a gas problem.

Wishing I could solve all of her problems with a snap of my fingers. A worried, stressed out Ellie worries and stresses me out.

Not that she’ll let me ease her burden. She’s too proud. Too stubborn. I’m sure she’ll think I’ll want something in return. I can admit I’m selfish, but when it comes to Ellie…

I just want to help her. That’s it. No strings attached. When Ellie’s okay, all is right in my world.

And I don’t know how to feel about that.