The Junior (College Years 3)

Caleb: But I’m mad at you.

My heart drops again and I blink back the sudden tears. Ugh, the crying really needs to stop. It’s so annoying when I have to focus.

Focus on saving my relationship.

Me: Why?

Caleb: What I heard you say to your friends. You have zero faith in me.

Me: More like I have zero faith in myself.

He takes a while to respond to that, which leaves me anxious. The server has brought over the dessert—some chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream monstrosity that made Jackson burst out laughing when he saw it. He’s currently spoon-feeding Ellie tiny bites and Hayden is working a spoon into the ice cream as well, doing a double take when she glances over at me.

“You okay?” she asks softly.

“Texting with Caleb,” I admit.

“Did you tell him where you’re at?”

I slowly shake my head. She smiles slyly.

“He’s going to flip.”

Yeah. And it might not be with happiness either. He might be angry that I showed up when he’s ready to tell me to get lost because I shit all over him and our relationship. I can’t blame him either. I didn’t handle this right.

But how was I supposed to know how to handle it in the first place? I have no experience with a real relationship, with a man I love.

The words ring in my head. I love.

I love him.

I love Caleb.

A tiny smile plays upon my lips. At least the knowledge of my love for him doesn’t send me running away screaming.

That’s reassuring.

My phone buzzes and I check the new text from Caleb.

Caleb: Do you have zero faith in us?

I don’t even pause in my response.

Me: I’m sorry that I hurt you.

Caleb: You didn’t answer my question.

I ponder it for a moment, scared to reveal the truth.

Me: I want to.

Caleb: That’s not good enough.

Oh God. If he breaks up with me right now, while I’m sitting in the middle of a busy restaurant in Las Vegas and about to make a grand gesture tomorrow…

I’ll crawl back into my hotel room, shrivel up and die.

Me: I have faith in you.