Shallow River

Furthermore, Matt isn’t the man I had believed he was, who’s to say he doesn’t have his own dealings in the black market? I’m sure the asshole is sitting with his head slumped, believing that there’s a possibility that his career has killed his own son.

“I don’t know, Mako…” I trail off. What if they follow me? Being caught going to Ryan’s brothers house in the middle of the night looks incredibly suspect. The supposed heartbroken girlfriend running off with the brother? Yeah, that doesn’t make me look fucking suspicious or anything.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Mako sighs. “I just hate the thought of you going through this alone.”

Mako and I have to tread very carefully for now. We can’t say what we really want to say over the phone. Mako doesn’t trust anyone not to hack my phone conversations. Highly illegal, but when has the government ever had morals?

“I appreciate that,” I say softly. It feels weird being nice to Mako. For so many months, I conditioned myself to hate him, convincing myself that Ryan’s hatred towards Mako was justified. That there was a reason of some sort. Or simply because I pledged loyalty to someone who didn’t deserve it.

But Mako never gave up on me. This godsend of a man is helping me get away with murder. Literally. He’s helping me cover up his own brother’s death because… well because Ryan was the fucking devil incarnate. He abused both of us.

And Mako is dealing with his own shit. Not only did he do those things for me, but he’s also facing the reality that his father is a rapist and how to navigate that. Through little snippets of conversation, he did decide to tell his mother the truth. I just don’t think he’s decided on how and when yet.

There’s just no way I can treat Mako badly anymore. Regardless if we get away with it or not, I owe him my life. He’s risking everything for me. His career, reputation, his life. Cops don’t last long in prison. Mako has the highest catch rate out of the entire department. His enemies would be waiting for him in prison, ready to exact their own version of revenge.

“Meet me at the library tonight,” I say. Meeting someone semi-public feels safer than going to his house. Or him coming here. I need to get out and away from this cold, sterile box. It’s a pretty box, but one that’s held nothing but haunting memories. One that I plan on moving out of as soon as possible.

I don’t have a whole lot in my savings, but I have enough to get my own place and restart my life. If I get that privilege.

“I’ll be there.” His low answering reply sends shivers down my spine. The warm kind that travels in between my legs and settles there. Whatever has been building between Mako and I is indescribable. I don’t know where it’s going, but fuck if I can stop it. I don’t want to.

I want to make this merry-go-round go faster.

THIS LIBRARY IS A haven to me, my own ghost running down the aisles. A young, broken girl with big ambitions. I see myself inside every room, every nook and cranny, all the places I escaped to when I had nowhere else to go. Camilla, looking after me, taking care of me, loving me.

My god, I miss her. Sometimes I forget just how much I miss her until I walk into this building and see her ghost alongside mine.

“It’s creepy in here.” The deep voice behind me makes me jump, a high-pitched squeal escaping my throat. Immediately, I’m embarrassed. Really fucking embarrassed. I’ve never made a noise like that in my life—and I’ve been scared my entire life. “Sorry,” Mako whispers, an impish grin sliding across his gorgeous face.

It’s nightfall, which means it’s dark in here. Our only light source is the moon shining through the windows and the soft light from my phone in my hand. Mako’s green eyes are shadowed, darkening his eyes to a deep moss green.

My hand is on my chest, holding in my racing heart, as my wide eyes stayed locked on his. I can only imagine how I look to him right now.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, as if he read my mind. I hate when he does that. I hate that he knows what I’m thinking.

That word—beautiful—sends ice down my back and fire in my veins all in one breath. Mako calling me beautiful is debilitating. I want to hate it and cherish it.

“I hate that word,” I say back, straightening myself into a somewhat normal position a human being should be in.

“Why?” he asks, his voice still low and quiet. Like if we talk any louder, we’ll be caught by the snarling librarian that demands silence at all times. I wish there was one here. Being bad with Mako sounds like so much fun.

“I’ve heard it all my life from the wrong people,” I admit. A cold rage settles in his eyes, but he doesn’t unleash it. So calm and collected. So unlike his brother.

“Does it feel better when you hear it coming from the right person?” he questions, his body still.

“I don’t know,” I whisper. I take a small step towards him. Shortening the little bit of distance between us feels like inching your hand towards a tiger’s mouth. At any moment, it’s going to snap. “Say it again.”

Mako doesn’

t react immediately. Instead, he roves his half-lidded eyes over me. The icy fire in his eyes slowly swirling into liquid heat. My heart kickstarts once again, racing nearly as hard as it did when he scared me. I hold my breath as my anticipation for one little word builds, electricity dancing through the air, setting the dust motes aflame.

“You’re beautiful,” he says again. My breath releases and I close my eyes, relishing the word coming from his mouth. It sounds deliciously sinful when he says it. It sounds like something I can get used to. Only when it’s coming from his mouth with the low pitch of his deep voice.

I keep my eyes closed, even as I confess, “I liked that.”

A gasp nearly escapes when I feel his body press into mine, his front molding to my back. His warm breath stirs the fine hairs around my ears. His hand slides in my hair, setting fire to my skin. Goosebumps prickle my entire body, causing me to shiver in his hold. His fingers whisper across my flesh as he slowly brushes my hair to drape across my shoulder. Another shiver races down my spine from the tickling sensation he leaves in his wake.

"Do you know what love looks like?" he asks softly. I close my eyes and release a deep sigh.