Shallow River

“Mako! Be careful, you idiot!” I shout, my legs finally unlocking and carrying me towards the couple. Mako ignores me and drags Billy back inside the house. My legs stutter. I don’t want to go back ins

ide that house. I worked so hard to come out of it.

Amar runs up to me. “River, please go sit in the car. I’ll make sure Mako is okay.” I don’t look at him. Not when Mako is disappearing around the corner, dragging a fighting Billy into the kitchen and out of view.

“I… I can’t leave him alone,” I say. But yet my legs still won’t move. Why won’t they fucking move? Why now, does my body decide to process the trauma?

Move, River.

“Sweetheart, I got him. Just go sit inside the car.” The end of Amar’s sentence is drowned out by a loud scream, filled with agony. It sounded like Billy.

“No,” I say, the sound finally spurring me into action. Mako didn’t run away when I got my revenge on Ryan. I’m not going to do the same to him. Plus, it’s only fair I get a few of my own punches in before Billy meets his death. Billy was my abuser far longer than Ryan ever was and has done much worse to me over the years. I want in on this, too.

I scramble into the house, fighting the chill that wants to overtake my body at being back inside this house. It took months before I could walk inside Barbie’s house without wanting to vomit and have a mental breakdown.

I just need to remind myself—I’m safe now. Mako is here. Amar is here. Billy is going to die, whether he wants to or not. I’m safe.

Just as I’m rushing into the kitchen, I see a knife plunge into Billy’s chest. Mako is bleeding profusely and looking more ashen by the second. He’s not doing good and that knowledge instantly takes anything else I’m feeling and tosses it into flames. All I can think about is Mako’s declining health.

“Amar, take him to the hospital.”

“Fuck that—”

“—I’d be glad to.” Amar and Mako both speak at the same time. “But I’m not leaving you alone with him. I’m taking Mako to the car, and I’m coming right back.”

I side-eye Amar, still wary of where his morals stand when it comes to upholding the law. Something tells me he’s not straight-laced and was more than willing to let Mako do what he wanted. But I’m not so sure he’d do the same for me.

“I’m fine, I got this handled,” Mako argues. He sways.

“You’re going to the hospital, man. You’ve lost too much blood,” Amar says, rushing towards Mako and forcing Mako’s heavy arm around his shoulders. The fact that Mako doesn’t fight any further only cements my worry.

With one last passing glance, Amar says, “I’ll be back.”

I watch Amar nearly drag Mako’s body out of the house. Billy’s groans drown out Mako’s grunts of pain.

Turning my attention back to the bleeding, groaning monster before me, I turn my worry over Mako’s possible death into blinding rage. If Mako dies… if Billy takes the one man in my life that has ever given a shit about me—and I mean actually cares about me—I won’t survive it. Billy will have succeeded in completely breaking me, just like he always wanted.

I turn, walk back out on the porch and find Mako’s forgotten gun lying on the rotted wood. Picking it up, I turn the gun in my hand, reveling in the weight in my hands. I’ve never shot a gun before. Never felt the mixture of trepidation and power that nestles deep inside you when holding a gun. I can understand why people use guns. Such a tiny thing has the power to take a life in a matter of seconds.

Loud clattering draws my attention back inside the house. Amar having fitted Mako in the car, he rushes in with me, finding a toppled chair next to Billy. He must’ve tried to use it as leverage to lift himself up. The knife is still protruding from his chest, rivulets of blood streaming out of the wound and onto the floor. He tries to get up again but slips on the blood.

“Get over here and help me, you fucking bitch!” he screams, spittle flying from his lips.

I stare at him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, just standing there? Help me!” His eyes are wide with pain and rage. Bloodshot and wet. I want to stare into the eyes as I take his life. I want to watch the life fade from them when I do.

Slowly, I walk over to my father’s sprawled form lying on the ground, careful not to slip on his blood.

“Amar, please leave,” I whisper.

“Do what you need to do, but I’m not leaving you alone.”

I turn my head to the side, studying him closely. When he sees my look, he repeats himself, “Do what you need to do.”

I smile and turn back to Billy.

“You’re pathetic,” I say calmly. I crouch down, the gun dangling between my knees as I study him. “You’ve lived your whole life as the monster. Desperate to be the meanest so no one can hurt you. Tell me, Billy. Are you hurt?” I pause and rip the knife out of his chest. His screams send warm shivers down my spine. “Do you feel the pain now?” I taunt as I plunge my thumb into the knife wound Mako inflicted.