Quadruplets Make Six

“You’re insane. You know that?”

“For you, maybe,” I said. I walked out of the library toward the kitchen. She followed, just like I knew she would.

I watched her cheek flush underneath my words as we stood in the middle of the kitchen.

“Anyway, what is it you wanna talk about?” she asked.

“I was wondering if we had reached an appropriate time to tell the kids about their new sibling.”

“Now? I mean… you want to tell the kids now?” she asked.

I watched the color drain from Libby’s face as I pulled the sorbet from the freezer.

“You know we have to tell them sometime. Eventually you’re going to start showing and they’ll start asking questions,” I said. “And by ‘them,’ I mean Lizzie.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. I know that. I just… don’t really know how they’ll react. And by ‘they,’ I mean Lizzie. The boys are too young to understand what’s going on.”

“Yep... I mean, they turn two next month. But Lizzie? She’ll be excited,” I said.

“How do you know?”

“She was ecstatic when her mother got pregnant with the twins.”

“But I’m not her mother,” she said.

I scooped us up two bowls of sorbet and carried it over to where she was sitting. I could see the panic ebbing behind her eyes and it hurt. What was she panicking over? The kids loved her. The dinners were going fantastic and they were even asking about her during the week, wondering if she would ‘come over and play’ or go on our family outings with us on the weekends.

“Talk to me,” I said. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“This is my first child, Graham. I just don’t want to spend it fielding other people’s disappointment and anger.”

“Why would anyone be disappointed or angry at you being pregnant?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said as she picked up her spoon. “But it could happen, right?”

“Libby, you can’t worry yourself about stuff like that. Especially when you don’t know how people around going to react. Look at me. Did I seem disappointed or angry when you told me?”

“No. But you were obligated to be happy.”

“Obligated?” I asked.

“Yeah. Anything else would’ve made you look like a bigger ass.”

My eyebrows ticked up as I watched Libby play with her sorbet. Her eyes were cast out the window and she was gazing off into the nighttime sky. This was about something else. There was something else bothering her that she wasn’t talking about. Something that had been rumbling around in her system for far too long without speaking about it.

“If we’re going to raise a child together, we have to be able to talk this out,” I said.

“I just… don’t know if telling your kids is the right thing to do.”

“Why not?” I asked. “Don’t you want them to know their little brother or sister?”

“I do. So much, Graham. But I don’t…”

“What, Libby? What is it? Just say it.”

“I don’t want them thinking we’re together. I don’t want them thinking I’m going to be their new mother when we don’t… even know what this is.”

I saw tears welling in her eyes as she pushed her bowl of sorbet away from her. That was what this was all about. Libby still wasn’t sure if we should be together. Despite all the wonderful dinner nights and the dates we had and the phone calls we shared, she still wasn’t sure.