Styxx (Dark-Hunter 22)

He wanted to vomit as fear and hatred mingled inside his heart.

Why can't I find someone who can accept all of me? The only one who did was Galen. Only he saw Styxx's heart and understood his real intentions and actions.

"Why are you so sad? Did I say something wrong?"

"No." It was both a lie and the truth. He didn't want her to censor her words around him. Not even when they kicked him in the crotch and left him bleeding. "I'm not quite the boy who left you, Beth. I fear war has changed me."

"How so?"

"In ways that are hard to define. I spent almost two years ankle-deep in blood and body parts. I've held the hands of old men and young boys as they took their last breaths. I've seen boys who were far too young, who weren't even old enough to shave yet, cut down and taken by illnesses we couldn't treat. We burned our dead, day and night, until the stench of it is permanently lodged in my throat and nose. There were days when the fighting was so thick that enemy arrows and spears blocked out the sun from us."

Bethany's heart clenched at the pain she heard in his voice. She knew each of the battles he spoke of, and the horrors. But this was the first time she'd seen them through the eyes of the men who actually fought them. Men who didn't know if they'd live through it or lose a part of their body.

Never before had she understood the fear of the families left behind and how hard it was to wait for a loved one they might never see again. Tears welled in her eyes as she wished she could take those memories from him. "How did you stand it?"

"I would think of you. Knowing you were here, depending on me to come back ... that you would cry if I didn't ... I'm not sure I would have made it through some of the battles had you not been in my heart." He rubbed her hand against the line of his jaw. "I definitely wouldn't have ridden home so fast."

She smiled at his humor then kissed him. "I don't ever want to be without you again."

"Hopefully you won't. I've heard that the city-states have joined together for another truce that should last."

Bethany's stomach shrank at his words. She knew just how temporary the truce would be. "Promise me, if something happens and we have to go to war again, you won't fight."

"I can't do that, Beth."

"Why not?"

Styxx clenched his teeth as he sought a reason he could give her that wouldn't reveal his true identity. "How can I stay at home knowing that men who have fought by my side and protected me, men I have bled to protect, are going to die? As hard as it is to live with the memories of war, I would never be able to face myself as a coward."

She didn't take his words well, but neither did she speak against them.

Leaning forward, Styxx nibbled her lips, reveling in the taste he'd missed more than any other. "I'm tired of speaking and thinking about war. Tell me how you've been. Is your uncle still annoying you? Has your mother finally killed your Aunt Epi? How's your mother? Did your grandfather ever get his sword back from his brother?"

Bethany was stunned by his words. "I can't believe you remember all of that."

"There is nothing about you I forget."

Bethany rolled onto her back and pulled him down to lie against her. He tensed as his pain increased, but after a few minutes he relaxed while she told him partial stories about her extensive family. For a few minutes he was so still that she thought he'd fallen asleep. Until she realized he was slowly working his way through the side of her peplos.

"What are you doing?"

He shifted his weight ever so slightly then skimmed his hand across the skin of her thigh. "What I have dreamed of doing every night since I last saw you."

Chills spread over her at the warmth of his hand questing for the part of her that was instantly throbbing for his touch. Bending her knees, she parted her thighs.

Styxx sucked his breath in sharply at how wet she was already. Even though his body protested, he pushed her peplos aside and opened her for his hungry gaze.

She moaned as he toyed with her. He sank his thumb deep into her body. Biting her lip, she rode his fingers for several minutes while he nibbled her hand and watched the pleasure playing out on her face.

"I've missed you, Beth," he breathed then he dipped his head to taste her.

Bethany cried out as his tongue replaced his fingers. Reaching down between her legs, she sank her hand into his hair and savored the way he licked and teased her. He used his whiskers to heighten her pleasure as he dragged them down her cleft, sending chills all over her.

"Come for me, Bethany. I need to taste your pleasure."

Those words sent her over the edge. Throwing her head back, she screamed out as her release tore through her. Still, he didn't stop. He licked and teased and suckled every last tiny bit of pleasure out of her body.

Panting and weak, she laid her fingers over his cheek. "I think you killed me, Hector."

"I can think of much worse ways to go."

She laughed at that then sat up and patted the ground until she found him.

Styxx frowned as she slid down his body. "What are you doing?"

"Returning the favor, my lord."

He arched his brow as she lifted the hem of his chiton and exposed his hard cock to her warm, soft hand. Thanks to Estes and Apollo, he didn't like to be fondled or cupped as a rule.

But the sight of her hand on his body ... He kept his eyes open to watch as she bent her head and swallowed him whole.

Sucking his breath in, he shivered at the sensation of her tongue swirling and teasing him with pure bliss. In his heart, he wanted this to last, but it'd been too long since he'd been with her.

Way too soon, he growled and released himself.

Great ...

He'd done better as a virgin. Total embarrassment filled him. "Sorry, love."

She licked him clean then smiled. "Why are you apologizing for something that means the world to me?"

"How so?"

"Given how much pain you're in and how quickly you came just now ... I know you haven't been near another woman while you were gone."

"That I definitely haven't." He cupped her face in his palm. "Did you find the ring I left for you?"

She held her hand up for him to see it in place.

He smiled in happiness. "Did anyone read the inscription to you?"

"Faithfully yours."

Styxx traced the line of her lips with his thumb. "I don't promise anything lightly, Beth. And I would die before I willingly did something that hurt you. You are the only woman I will be with. Ever. On my honor."

She smiled at his words then stood up. To his shock and pleasure, she removed her peplos and, completely naked, laid back down by his side. Taking his uninjured hand, she kissed his palm then placed it over her heart, between her bare breasts. "I love you."

Touched to the core of his soul, he leaned down to nuzzle her breast then her cheek. "I love you, too. I always will. And I pray to the very gods I despise that they never separate us again."

"Gods you despise?"

He had to stamp down his anger so as not to offend her with his blasphemy. Unlike him, she was a devout follower. "I know you love them, Beth. But I don't. They've been too cruel to me for far too long."

"Sometimes-"

He covered her lips with his. "Please don't defend them. You can't. But ... if they will just keep you with me, I might one day forgive them and be at peace with them again."

"I will teach you how to love them."

Tears filled his eyes at her words. He didn't doubt her abilities. If anyone could convert him, it was she. After all, he wouldn't have known any kind of love had she not tamed him with her gentle heart and touch.

For that, he was willing to forgive the bastards who'd cursed him.

Just don't take her from me....

That would begin an even greater war than the one he was returning from.

October 31, 9530 BC

Styxx froze as he came face-to-face with Acheron as they both left the open, public gymnasium. His brother wore a dark gray chiton and blue cloak-something that would have Acheron beaten if seen. All prostitutes were required to wear a specific red chiton whenever they were in public.

But Styxx would never tell.

He was glad Acheron looked a good deal healthier than he'd appeared the last time they'd met. And the irony that both of them were here this day, pretending to be someone they weren't while doing the same exact thing, wasn't lost on him.

They were twins, after all.

For a moment, he thought Acheron would speak to him.

He didn't. Instead, he pulled his cowl down lower over his face and made his way out of the amphitheater.

A part of Styxx wanted to chase after him, but what was the use? Really? Time and bitterness divided them.

They had both said and done things to each other that were unforgivable.

And yet ...

He missed his brother. Dearly. Those stolen moments of friendship when they'd played together and laughed. He would give anything if he could go back to that time when the world hadn't been quite so cold and harsh. Back to when he hadn't been what he was now.

Although, anymore, he wasn't quite sure what he was.

Other than lost.

His soldiers treated him like some mythical hero. His father and the senate like some overindulged brat who should be spanked. His sister like he was a demon sent to torment her. And in his heart, he knew he was a killer....

And a whore.

Like his brother.

Only Bethany made him feel noble and cherished. But that would change instantly if she ever learned the truth of his identity or what Apollo had forced on him against his will. Then she would hate him forever for the lie he'd told her to protect himself.

Galen alone treated him like a son. But he hadn't seen his old mentor since their return. Before Galen had even dismounted, Styxx had sent him on to be with his family-had ordered him to take at least three months with them before he even considered returning to town.

Honestly, Styxx envied Galen's daughter and grandchildren. He hoped they knew what a rare gift it was to be cherished by Galen the way they were, and that they never took the old man's love for granted.

"Highness?"