Only One Bed

“I… Yeah, I was.”

Bree exclaimed, “I knew it!” She shared a satisfied smile with Tim, who nodded.

“We all knew it.” Mrs. Tanaka pinched Sam’s waist, and he yelped, jerking sideways on his chair and almost ending up in my lap. “Just took this birdbrain a while to catch up.”

“He’s not a birdbrain!” I insisted. The Sakaguchis awwwed in unison.

Mrs. Tanaka winked at me. “I always knew you were a good boyfriend.”

“So…” Sam shook his head. “You figured out I’m bisexual before I did?”

“Yes, dear,” his mother said. “Well, of course we didn’t know, but we thought there was a good chance.”

“I knew.” Mrs. Tanaka took a big bite of crispy toast, crumbs sticking to her lipstick. “You were too stubborn to listen.”

“Wow,” Sam mumbled. “So, this is a thing that is happening in real life.”

Bree lifted her glass of water. “To Sam and Etienne. Finally!”

They toasted us with champagne flutes and coffee mugs. I lifted my mug and shared a smile with Sam, counting the minutes until we were alone again.

There were way too many minutes until Sam and I were together.

After two shows and a late dinner with Sam’s family, we were finally back in the cabin. I pulled off my boots and brushed fresh snow from my hat and coat. Sam hung up his coat and fidgeted, removing his socks. Then he apparently decided the cabin floor was too cold and tugged them back on.

I was dying to kiss and touch him, but I held back. He seemed agitated and had been quiet at dinner. Was he regretting this? Regretting me? There was only one way to find out. I’d spent too many years staying silent about my feelings.

“Are you sorry?” I asked.

By the microwave, Sam turned to frown at me. “For…my family showing up unannounced?”

I shook my head. “About this.” I motioned between us.

“Why would you think that? Are you sorry?”

“No! Not at all.”

“Me either.” His brow furrowed. “So what are we talking about?”

“I don’t know?” I laughed as the stupid stress released.

“Shouldn’t we be making out?”

“Absolutely.”

It was still strange to reach for Sam and kiss him. To have him kiss me back eagerly, slipping his tongue in my mouth and tugging at my clothes. For Sam to get us both naked so we could crash onto that wonderful bed and kiss and rub and get off with hands and mouths.

It was the best kind of strange I’d ever known.

Under the Christmas lights, we dozed, tangled together. I groaned drowsily after a while. “Need to sleep for real. I ate too much. Again. Those red pants aren’t going to fit.”

Sam rubbed my belly. “You can gain a pound or two. It’s fine.”

Imagining what Yaroslav would say about that, I squirmed away and stood. “It’s not. But I really should go brush my teeth and get to sleep. I was dying by the end of the show tonight. Training’s going to be brutal next week.”

Still naked, I pissed and brushed my teeth in the bathroom. Sam appeared in the door wearing his boxers, his arms crossed over his bare chest as he watched me.

I spit into the sink. “What’s up?” Something was.

“You got all tense and stressed.”

I gulped a glass of water and spit again. “Sorry. It’s not you.”

“I know. It’s Hackensack. It’s your asshole coach.” He paused. “It’s the obsession with the Olympics.”

I tapped my toothbrush on the side of the sink too hard, defensiveness rising. “I’m not obsessed. The whole point of skating is to make the Olympic team.”

“Um, is it, though? Do you have to go to the Olympics?”

I stared at him. “What do you mean?” My heart raced uncomfortably. I didn’t want to talk about this. I wanted to go back to bed and sleep with his breath on my skin.

He raised his hands. “I know it seems like I’m suggesting treason or… What is it when it’s against religion? Heresy? What I mean is—does the success of your skating career have to involve competing at the Olympics?”

I opened and closed my mouth. “Of course.”

“Okay. I know my brother’s answer would also be a resounding yes. But why? It’s one competition. Is it really so different from going to Worlds?”

“Yes! It’s the Olympics! It’s everything we’ve worked toward for all these years! Without it…”

“Without it, what?”

“Nothing. It’s the pinnacle. The purpose.”

“But only three ice dance teams max get to go. Every four years. And next season there’ll be two spots barring some kind of miracle. There are dozens of you working your asses off for your whole lives. Hardly any of you will actually make it to the Olympics. So does that mean all of your careers were for nothing?”

Yes! That was the immediate answer that screamed in my mind. Yet I knew everything Sam was saying was true.

“I don’t want to piss you off. But I have to say this.” Sam blew out a big breath. “If you don’t go to the Olympics, that’ll suck. You’ll miss out on an extremely cool experience. I’m sure it’s exciting and fun to be in the Athletes’ Village and walk in the opening ceremony and all that stuff. It’s a huge event. It would be dope to go.”