Valor on the Move

“Says who?”

“Like…everyone. The internet. The world.”

“What do you say?”

“I…I don’t know. I feel like…if I don’t slick it down, people will stare more. Talk more. Make memes about me.”

“Screw those assholes. But I know it’s easy to say.” He caressed Rafa’s head. Shane knew he should stop touching him, but here in the black they were in their own world, and no one could see. Which didn’t make it right, but he’d already detonated the line and crossed it miles back. He’d surrendered to his weakness—to his desire—and he couldn’t push Rafa away now. Every instinct had him holding on. They still might not make it out. If they survived, he could be sorry then.

“Feels good to stretch my legs,” Rafa said. “I don’t know how long I was in there. An hour, maybe? What do you think their plan was?”

“I don’t know. Take you somewhere. Ransom, maybe. Or political demands.” Torture you and send you back to your father piece by piece until they got what they wanted.

“Did they sound Russian or something?”

“Yeah. If not Russian, from that region, I think.”

Rafa was quiet for a few breaths. “Do you think Alan’s okay?”

Grief flared, searing Shane from the inside out. Although he couldn’t see, he squeezed his eyes shut against the image of Alan on the ground, his face pale as he bled out. How would Jules and Dylan cope? She was going to lose them all. His throat felt full of rocks. “I don’t know,” he managed. “I hope so, but…”

Clasping Shane’s hand against his chest, Rafa squeezed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“But it is. I’m the one who came out here to the middle of nowhere. How did they find me?”

“I don’t know. You didn’t tell anyone where you were going?”

“No. I swear. I only talked to you when you called my cell. I didn’t even know where I was going. I was just driving. It could have been anywhere. I don’t know why I picked that exit off the highway. It was a whim. Driving along these back roads, stopping up at that lookout—I didn’t have a reason for any of it.”

The terrible suspicion brewing in Shane’s gut grew stronger. “It had to be an inside job.”

“What do you mean? One of you guys?”

“There’s no other explanation. I know we weren’t followed off the highway. I mean…it’s possible. But we would have noticed. There was no one behind us for miles.” The possibilities clicked through Shane’s mind. Any number of agents at Joint Ops and the White House knew the locations Alan had reported in as they followed Rafa. The signal had still worked when Shane had left the Suburban for the toilet building. They’d checked in with Harris. They’d followed procedure. Who would betray them? Betray Rafa?

“Shane? Are you okay?” Rafa rubbed the back of Shane’s hand.

He blew out a long breath. “Yeah. Fuck, I can’t think about this right now. No point in it. They’ll find out what happened.” He caressed Rafa’s hair again. “You should sleep.”

“Not tired.”

Shane smiled. “Liar.”

“Okay, okay. But I don’t think I can sleep. I…can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Have you ever killed people before?” Rafa quickly added, “Not that I’m judging. Believe me, I’m glad you killed them. Which might make me a bad person, but…I guess I’m okay with that.”

“You’re not a bad person. I’m glad I killed them too.” The memories flashed through Shane’s mind—shooting out the van’s tire to disable the vehicle and the men streaming out with guns blazing, red figures through his night-vision goggles. He’d taken them down with kill shots, one after the other the way he’d practiced a million times. The service demanded their skills stay razor sharp with training exercises every two months, and tonight had shown why.

But along with his training and automatic responses, tonight Shane had wanted to destroy those men. He’d wanted it with every piece of him. He turned up his palm and caught Rafa’s hand, squeezing. “I’d kill anyone who tried to hurt you.”

“I know. I mean, it’s your job. Not just to kill, but to die. How do you deal with that? And what if you didn’t even like me? What if I was a total bag of dicks?”

“I’ve never had to like anyone I’ve protected. It’s irrelevant. Liking them or not has nothing to do with my duty. It’s like…” Shane huffed out a laugh. “I’ve always thought of it as taking a bullet for America. Not for the specific person.”

Rafa laughed softly. “They should use that in their recruiting brochures. ‘Take a bullet for America!’ But that makes sense. That it’s about the bigger picture and not the actual person.”

“Yeah. It was, at least.” Shane’s voice was barely a murmur. “But now…” Just shut up. Stop talking. But the words came anyway. “It would be for you.” He brushed Rafa’s hair off his forehead. “I’d take a hundred bullets. Kill a hundred men. Keep you safe no matter what.”