The Christmas Deal
“Say something,” he muttered. “Cat doesn’t usually have your tongue.” He was trying to tell himself this was no big deal, but it was. It was a big damn deal.
“Oh! Sorry. Processing.” Jenna reached over the vegetables and grabbed his hand. “You know I love you and support you a hundred percent.”
He exhaled. “I figured, but that’s still nice to hear.” He squeezed her fingers.
“It must be scary.”
“Yeah.” He swallowed hard. “It’s a big change. I’m not gonna wuss out, though. It—he means too much. Maybe some people won’t like it, but tough shit. It’s not like I have any friends left anyway.”
“The people who matter will support you. The end.”
“Even Pop?” he whispered.
Jenna winced through her teeth. “I think so? He’s kind of weirdly mellowed. He probably won’t love it at first, but he’ll come around. He wants you to be happy and settled. He worries about you a lot. More than you think.”
“Huh.” Logan wasn’t sure what to make of that.
She sat back and picked up her wine. “You and Seth! It’s perfect. You’ve both been so lonely, whether you want to admit it or not. And it’s not just physical?”
“No!” He shifted in his chair, crossing his arms. Talking about this was the worst, especially with his baby sister. “It’s different with Seth.”
Her smile reminded him of the moony look she got when she watched rom-coms. “You like him.”
“Yeah.” He grumbled. “A lot, okay?”
“And before it was only physical with men. Never with feelings involved?”
“Right.”
“But why?”
“Because!” He grunted, realizing he sounded like Connor. “It’s just… I always thought dating and stuff is what you do with women. Getting off with guys once in a while was separate.”
“Okay.” Jenna sipped her wine. “But you don’t think it’s wrong, right? Same-sex relationships.”
“No,” he scoffed. “I just didn’t think it was for me. Turns out I was wrong. Seth and I were only pretending at first, but now…” He picked up the knife and cut the stalk off a broccoli spear.
“You’re blushing!” Jenna clapped delightedly. “This is the best Christmas present you could give me.”
“You’re welcome,” he said with as much sarcasm as he could.
“So, you’re…bisexual?”
It still seemed weird as hell to think of himself as anything but straight after insisting on it for so long. Fooling himself for so long. He cleared his throat. “Yeah. I’m bisexual.” He exhaled a long breath, a knot of tightness in his chest releasing.
“I’ll drink to that!” Jenna lifted her glass, and he clinked his against it.
“You’ll drink to anything,” he teased with a grateful laugh.
“Pumped out a ton of milk this morning, so you’re damn right I will. It’s Christmas.” She took a big swallow. “Are you moving in for real? Is that why Connor’s in such a good mood?”
“I guess. We’re gonna see how it goes, but yeah. Moving in.”
“It’s going to go wonderfully! I know it.”
“That’s what I thought about Veronica.”
Jenna pursed her lips. “No you didn’t. You knew it was a mistake from day one. But now we have Connor. Everything happens for a reason.” She grimaced. “Not Veronica’s death. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know. I get it.” He looked out the window at where Connor was dodging a snowball and laughing as it hit Seth instead. “I wish she was still alive, but I wouldn’t want to give him up.” He shook his head. “Never thought I’d say that.”
“You were thrust into being a single dad overnight, and it’s not easy, to say the very least. You’re still learning, but you’re what Connor needs.”
Logan was starting to believe it. “He’ll probably drive me nuts soon enough, but we’re both trying. We didn’t fight at all today. We’ve been watching that eighties show on Netflix about the kids and monsters. Seth and I hadn’t seen it, so Connor said we should start at the beginning. It’s been fun watching together.”
“That’s great! All you can do is try, and keep trying even when he acts like an asshole. Because sometimes kids are the worst, but they’re the best.” Jenna’s eyes filled, and she laughed. “Sorry, you know how emo I get at Christmas. But if there’s any time to start fresh, it’s now, don’t you think?”
“Yeah. Peace and good will and all that shit.”
They laughed, and the oven timer dinged. Jenna bolted up. “Need to check the turkey. Maybe you and Pop should talk?”
“What, now?”
“Peace and good will and all that shit.”
Here went nothing. Logan took a gulp of the sweet wine and headed into the den before he could chicken out. Better to just rip off the Band-Aid.
Noah was still fast asleep in his playpen on the floor by Pop’s armchair, his little mouth open, face so innocent that it made Logan want to pick him up and hold him close. Of course that would wake him, and he had to spit out the truth to Pop.