Love Match (Love Match 1)

Luke shrugged. “Changed my mind. Not that much traffic out here in the desert.”

“Just keep your eyes on the road,” Jesse said with a laugh.

“Fine, fine.” Luke smiled. “So what did your mom want?”

Jesse groaned. “I totally forgot about my parents’ anniversary party tonight. There’s no way I can get out of it.”

Luke felt a flare of disappointment. “It’s okay, I understand.”

“You know I’d rather be with you, right? But they’re my parents, so …”

“I know. I understand, really.” Luke smiled reassuringly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow though?”

“You’d better. I’ve quickly become accustomed to getting off multiple times a day.”

Jesse laughed. “You mean you didn’t before? Your hand muscles are in pretty good condition.”

“No, no, you’re the one who jerked off all the time thinking of me, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.” Jesse’s voice lowered, a wistful look coming over his face. “Sometimes I feel like I’m dreaming, you know? Like any second I’ll wake up and I’ll be alone and you’ll still be a stranger I watch on TV sometimes, or see glimpses of at tournaments.”

Luke reached over and took Jesse’s hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good to know.” Jesse leaned over and kissed him quickly.

They drove on in comfortable silence for a while, the wind whipping by. “So, your parents,” Luke said. “Do they know? That you’re gay?”

“No. Sometimes I think they must suspect. I mean, I’ve never had a girlfriend. Although in college, I just told them I was too busy with school and tennis. Which was true. I just didn’t bring up how I like guys.”

“Wouldn’t go down too well?”

Jesse shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. They’re liberal, I guess, but…I just wonder how they’d react. My father’s only son turning out to be queer. I don’t think he’d be too thrilled. Maybe I’m afraid to find out.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“Does your mom know? Your dad died a long time ago, right?”

Luke nodded, his chest tightening. It didn’t seem to matter how much time passed; it still hurt to think of him. His dad missed out on so much. “Nine years. I guess it’s a long time.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound dismissive or anything.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t.”

“So, did he know?”

“No. But apparently my mother wasn’t so easily fooled.”

“You never told her yourself?”

“I just never got around to it, I guess. Never seemed like the right time.”

Silence stretched out until Jesse said, “How do you know? That she knows?”

“She told me. Last week. Seems that she knew about me and…and she was wondering if I had a new boyfriend.”

“Oh. Um, so what did you say?” Jesse shifted in his seat, uncomfortable.

“I didn’t say much. I ran away. From her. From you.”

“Oh. That’s why …”

“Yeah. It was a bit too much to take in all at once. I’m sorry.” Luke cleared his throat. It felt strange to say it all out loud.

“It’s okay, I get it.” Jesse smiled and his hand found Luke’s thigh again. He didn’t squeeze or make any sexual advances, just rested it there until they were back in LA, the noise and the smog enveloping them.

After dropping Jesse off with a long kiss and a promise to meet the next day, Luke found himself heading towards his mother’s house. It was the same small house he’d grown up in, with the well-kept lawn, neat flowerbeds, and big oak tree in the backyard.

When Stephanie opened the door, she smiled. “You still have a key, you know.”

“I know,” Luke said, sheepish. “I just thought maybe …”

“Oh, Luke.” She drew him into her arms tightly. “You never have to knock.”

He breathed her in—the familiar scent of the same perfume she’d worn his whole life, the freshly laundered smell of her button-down shirt. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

She pulled back and shut the door behind him, leading him to the couch. “For what, sweetheart?”

Luke shrugged. “For everything. For lying to you and Dad. For being…who I am.”

“I love you, Luke. Just the way you are. I always have.” She kissed his cheek gently. “Don’t forget that.”

He felt like a weight had left his shoulders. “I love you, too, Mom.”

“I know.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and fiddled briefly with the simple pearl earring she wore. “Luke, just promise me something.”

“What?”

“That you’ll be honest with me. All these years I’ve waited for you to say something. Did you think I wouldn’t understand?”

Guilt coursed through him. “Mom, it wasn’t your fault. You’ve always been there for me.” He took her hand. “I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. I guess I was just scared.”

“Did you really think I’d turn my back on you?”

“I…I don’t know. It’s just…people have these expectations of me and I’m afraid that if they find out the truth nothing will be the same.”

“People can surprise you, dear.” She squeezed his fingers.

“Yeah, they can.” He sighed. “I wanted to tell you, but I had to keep Nik a secret. I would never have gotten those endorsements otherwise. No matter how many Grand Slams I won.”