Beautifully Destroyed (Beautifully Broken)

I need to keep my focus on not dropping the mask. Quinn’s in no state to deal with my trauma after the hell she went through. I’ll have to start house-hunting immediately. I just need to hold it together until Dad’s back. Once he’s home, I’ll tell him what happened. He’ll help me recover.

“If it means you putting on some weight, I’ll just have to bake more muffins.”

I glance at Quinn. “Ah… so I’ll probably only stay here until I can find a place to buy.”

“Do you have enough money? There’s no rush. You can stay here as long as you want, and there’s always Dad’s house.”

“Don’t think I’m ungrateful because I’m not,” I say, not wanting to offend my cousin. “I appreciate all of this, but I want to get settled and make a home for myself. Dad said he’ll pay for the house, then he’ll have a place to crash when he’s home.”

Daddy, I need you to come home now. I need you to hold me and make it all better.

A desolate emotion pushes up my throat, and I swallow hard, turning my back to Quinn as I hang the last of my jeans.

“I guess we’ll have to go house hunting for you then.”

Just as we shove the bags under the bed, we hear a truck pull up to the house, and it has Quinn saying, “That must be Eli. Come, I’ll introduce you.”

Oh, God.

When I hesitate, Quinn grabs my hand, and I’m forced to move. As we come down the stairs, the front door opens, and a man comes in. He places his keys in the bowl on a stand by the door, then smiles at us.

For the hundredth time today, my heart slams against my ribs. Eli doesn’t look like the friendly brother, even with the smile. He’s just an older version of Ethan with a slightly darker shade of blue eyes.

“Finally, I get to meet you. Quinn’s been so excited ever since you said you were coming.” Eli’s face warms slightly as he smiles at me.

I tug my hand free from Quinn and make sure she’s between Eli and me while I try to calm my racing heart.

Not everyone’s a threat.

Quinn loves this man.

She said he’s good.

Calm down.

Swallowing hard, I say, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you. Thank you for letting me stay here. You have a beautiful home.”

Eli’s smile grows. “You’re welcome. If you need anything, just let Quinn or me know.”

I nod, fisting my hands at my sides as the need to lock myself in the guest room almost overwhelms me.

Quinn notices my nervousness. “Don’t worry. I used to be the same around Eli, but you’ll get used to him.”

“Is that so?” Eli asks, giving her a playful grin.

“I couldn’t even form a sentence around you,” she reminds him.

“True.” Eli moves closer to Quinn, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

I struggle to not close my eyes at the intimate sight that sends a wave of revulsion through my stomach.

It’s normal, Finlay. There’s nothing wrong with two people being affectionate.

While I try to reason with myself, Quinn tells Eli, “I invited Ethan for dinner… shoot, I forgot to ask you to get pizzas for us.”

“Don’t worry, babe,” Eli says, pulling his phone from his pocket. “I’ll get them to deliver.”

Looking very happy, Quinn wraps her arm around Eli’s lower back. “See why I love him so much?”

I nod, forcing half a smile to my lips. “Yeah.” Wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, I ask, “Is it okay if I go lie down. I’m tired from the traveling.”

“Sure,” Quinn says. “Nap as long as you want. I’ll keep some pizza for you.”

I almost tell her not to bother, because there’s no way I’ll be able to stomach food, but instead, I force another smile to my lips. “Thanks.”

I dart up the stairs, and the instant I’m in the guest bedroom, I lock the door behind me, air exploding over my lips in short bursts.

Calm down. You’re safe with Quinn.

I wrap my arms tightly around myself and back up until the back of my knees hit the bed. Sinking down to the floor, my back pressing against the bed, my eyes are glued to the door as the panic attack tears through me like a tornado.

Daddy, I need you.

I can’t do this.

I press my mouth against my knees to muffle a dry sob. The muscles in my cheeks strain, and my eyes burn, and I wish the tears would come like they did when I saw Quinn at the bus station.

But they stay away, and there’s no relief for the hell churning inside me.

ETHAN

When I get back to Eli’s, Finlay’s nowhere to be seen. I don’t ask where she is as I join Eli and Quinn in the living room.

“Dad said you’re making progress with the house,” Eli mentions while he loads pizza slices onto his plate.