Sinful (Bad Boy Rockers 5)

I hit send before I can change my mind. Perhaps I should have called. Maybe. I’m so hopeless at this. Hopefully, he won’t laugh at me.

My cell beeps.

Inhaling, I check my cell and can’t prevent the huge smile that lights up my face when Jace’s name is on the notification screen.

I quickly open his message.

I’d love to. Do you want to meet me at Kix, Ryder’s roadhouse? J x

My answer doesn’t need thinking about as I reply.

Yes. In a couple of hours? S x

He sent me a kiss, so why not send one back?

I’m here already, so whenever you’re free. I’ll wait for you. J x

I think I’m about to melt into a puddle on the chair. ‘He’ll wait for me.’

Closing my eyes, I relax back into the chair and snuggle down. If only he knew that I was still wearing his academy T-shirt. He’d made me wear it home the other night because I’d left my shirt in his bathroom, so it had missed going in the dryer. Jace had told me to keep it, and keep it I am. I’ve slept in it since and put it back on after my shower this morning.

I’ve no problem with Richard seeing me in it, if he should read my message and come around, because he gave me one a while back, which is still in the bottom of my drawer. He doesn’t need to know that.

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I mean, I’ve never once been craving the company of another man while I’ve been dating another—never. Although, I’m not even sure I’m dating Richard, regardless of the fact that I’m wearing his ring. I can’t even remember the last time we went out to dinner, the movies, or anywhere for that matter.

Hearing a vehicle pulling into the driveway, I switch my cell to silent and slip it into my back pocket as I clamber to my feet. As the engine cuts out, I realize that it’s Richard.

My nerves come rushing back to hit me in the stomach. I can do without this, but it’s best to get it out of the way. I can’t keep craving Jace, and seeing him while I’m engaged to another man. It isn’t fair to either of them, especially Richard.

“Hey.” Richard walks inside as though he owns the place, dropping his keys in the tray by the door. “I got your message. I was already on my way over. What do you want to talk about?” He moves forward and goes to kiss me on the lips, but I move my head at the last minute.

Moving away from him, I put the sofa between us and nervously fiddle with the top of the cushion. He doesn’t seem impressed, and the tick at the side of his jaw tells me he’s getting angry.

Holding my breath, I rush out, “I can’t marry you.” I wince at the bluntness. “I mean—”

“You can’t marry me,” Richard repeats. “What do you mean you can’t marry me? What’s changed?” His eyes narrow, as his fists clench at his sides.

My nerves dance inside me and I find myself staring at the front door…at escape from him. I’ve seen him this way a few times but he’d always held things in check. For the first time, I wonder if he can control himself completely. I take a deep breath and, instead of backing off and staying quiet, I continue with the words that I’ve been rehearsing for months, “We haven’t been intimate since you put the engagement ring on my finger. Now that I’m not lost in grief, I realize we don’t have anything in common. We hardly ever talk…I’ll always be grateful for you for being there when my father died, but I can’t marry you out of gratitude, and you shouldn’t want that either. You should want to be with someone who loves you, and who you love.” My heart is pounding now that I’ve had my say. I’m also afraid of how he’s going to react because he’s angry—very angry.

Not only has his jaw tightened, but his face has gone red with anger and his hands are in tight fists by his hips.

“Don’t presume to know my feelings.” He glares at me while his breathing is getting heavier. “Who is he?” He steps around the sofa and grabs hold of my arm before I can get my feet moving.

“Don’t—” I beg as he slams me into the wall. Stars dance in my vision and I gasp around the pain in my back from being shoved.

His other hand comes up and he grips both my arms, painfully, while his hips keep me pinned to the wall.

The blood rushes through my ears as fear grips me. I’m trying to tell myself that he really won’t hurt me, but he already is. His fingers digging into my arms are hurting—a lot. As he gets in my face, my heart thuds in fear. This isn’t the man I was engaged to, or maybe he is and I just never saw this side of him.

“Jace,” he snarls. “I should have known. I’ve seen the way he watches you.”

I can’t have him blaming Jace. I know my attraction to Jace opened my eyes to the relationship I’m in, but I don’t want the blame laying at his feet. So with that in mind, I whisper, “It’s not Jace.”

He pauses before throwing his head back and laughing. It stops as suddenly as it started. “You seriously expect me to believe that? If you do, then you’re not as bright as I thought you were.”

Pulling back, he slams me back into the wall and I wince at the pain blossoming in my head.

“The crippled bastard can’t keep his eyes off you.”