Married in Name Only

He shifted to look over her shoulder. Honestly, he didn’t care what they looked like. The intensity of their discussion at the bridal shop had made him change his mind on where they were going. He’d had reservations at his favorite steak house, but they both needed to unwind and do something utterly silly.

So they’d come to the mall.

“We didn’t have wedding photos done, so these will have to do.”

Paisley snorted. “Why not? Our wedding was tacky anyway, might as well have a photo booth as our photographer.”

“These will look great on my desk,” he told her, taking the photos back. He slid them into his shirt pocket and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go grab something to eat.”

“Wait,” she said. “You’re putting those on your desk?”

With a shrug, he led her toward the food court. “Why wouldn’t I? Most people have a photo of their spouse at their office.”

“We’re not most couples and I don’t know anyone who uses a photo booth to get a picture of his loved one.”

That stopped him. Lucas kept his hold on her hand, but turned to face her. Love couldn’t enter this marriage. At least not from her. She couldn’t profess any such thing because, while he might not believe in love, it was clear she did and he didn’t want her to be under any illusion that this would develop into what they once had.

Paisley’s eyes widened as if she just realized the words she’d uttered. With a shaky smile, she shook her head and kept going.

“You know what I mean,” she said in a rush. “I don’t actually think you love me, but I’m at least hoping you don’t hate me.”

Was that what she thought? That he hated her? Despite the hurt he’d felt years ago, even at his darkest time after she’d left, he could never hate her.

Lucas stared at her another minute before turning to face her fully and taking her other hand. People milled about them in the busy area, but he didn’t care. This was so much more important.

“I’ve never hated you,” he corrected. “I wanted to, but I never did. Hate would’ve been easier to deal with.”

Her eyes searched him, as if she wanted to hear more, but he had no more to give. That was all he could divulge about his feelings and still remain in control. The slithering guilt about using her to get to Sterling gnawed at his conscience.

“Well, that’s something,” she finally murmured. She tipped her chin and smiled. “So, are we really eating here?”

Lucas pushed aside everything outside this moment and let out a fake gasp. “You mean you don’t want a salty pretzel with cheese dip or questionable pizza?”

“Hey, I’m always up for junk food. I just didn’t think someone like you would eat in a place where you technically serve yourself.”

Lucas squeezed her hand and headed toward the pretzel stand. “Did you just call me a snob?”

She fell in step with him and gave him a nudge with her shoulder. “More like...choosy.”

Lucas stepped into the line and sighed. “You know, we may have grown up in a different type of household, but that doesn’t mean I think I’m better than anyone and I sure as hell know good food.”

Paisley laughed. “I wouldn’t call a pretzel that’s been sitting in a warmer cube good food.”

Lucas pointed to the surrounding concessions. “We’ll grab something from each one and then we’ll judge whose food is the best.”

“Where were you really taking me tonight?” she asked as they moved up in the line. “Because I’m sure you had fancy reservations that required you to wear a jacket and tie.”

Which was why he’d shed them in the car before they’d arrived. He’d wanted her relaxed, he’d wanted to see her smile, and he’d figured the mall was probably as far removed as possible from what he had planned at an upscale restaurant.

“Plans change,” he replied. “I wanted something simple, maybe like we used to have. There’s so much going on. We both needed a break.”

The smile she offered was like a punch to his gut, and Lucas wondered if he should’ve kept the stuffy old reservations. But thankfully the line moved and broke the moment.