“Of course,” she said. “He’s on morphine for the pain now. He might be pretty out of it.”
Walking into his room, I wasn’t prepared for just how bad he was. I sat down next to the bed and reached for his hand. He was so pale. Huge dark circles surrounded his eyes, and his cheeks were beginning to hollow.
At least he looks comfortable.
This was really happening: Andy was dying. There was no magical cure that was going to save him. He wasn’t going to get better. His time was up, whether we were ready to accept that or not.
I sat there, holding his hand until he suddenly squeezed it. My eyes jerked open and I saw him looking at me. Shit, I must have fallen asleep.
“Hey man. You’re awake,” I said, sitting forward.
He tried to smile, but ended up having a coughing fit. “You need to look after her,” he mumbled. He could barely keep his eyes open, the call of sleep was so strong.
“Of course I will.”
“No, I want to know you’ll be there for her. Really be there for her. Don’t make me say it, man.”
“She doesn’t want me like that. It’s you that she loves. And you’re dying.”
“No, please, Seth. I need to know she will be okay,” he mumbled.
“I’ll look out for her. You know I’ll be there for her.”
Chapter Seventeen
Emily
I knocked lightly on the door. Seth looked up as I walked in and smiled. I forced a smile back. Andy was sleeping, just as he had been all day. The morphine really knocked him around. When he was awake, he was delusional and confused. One moment I’d think he didn’t even recognize me, and the next he’d say something that convinced me he did.
Seth stood up, kissing me on the head as he walked past.
“I’ll be out there if you need me.” I waited until he had walked out before I made my way over to the bed. As I sat down, his eyes fluttered open. He stretched his fingers out, wrapping them around my hand. I smiled, blinking back tears.
"Sorry I snapped earlier," he mumbled.
I crawled onto the bed and into his arms, desperate to be as close to him as I could.
"It's okay." I closed my eyes and let him hold me. The feel of his fingers gently stroking my bare skin was almost enough to make me cry. I’d miss this the most.
Lying in his arms, his body up against mine, I took in the sound of each shallow breath. His skin was cold and clammy. I snuggled against him, trying to warm his body. Tears pricked my eyes. I wiped them away as they began to roll down my cheeks.
“Em,” he whispered in my ear, pulling me closer to him. “Don’t cry. I hate seeing you upset.”
“I’m sorry, I just . . .” There was nothing for me to say.
He kissed my cheek, his soft voice soothing me as he held me. “I’ll always be with you, Emsky. No matter where you are, or what you’re doing, I’ll be right there with you.”
“I don’t want to do anything without you.”
He chuckled softly. “Em, the world doesn’t stop turning just because I’m not in it.”
“My world does,” I whispered.
He kissed my cheek. “Come here,” he said.
I did, collapsing into his arms as they wrapped around me.
“You need to stop this. You aren’t dying, Em. You have to promise me that you won’t stop living just because I’m gone.”