Words Left Unsaid (Love Hurts 3)

I roll my eyes and give him a little shove. Was that a compliment?

“You can come over after she's in bed if you like,” I suggest. My face heats as the words fly out of my mouth. Sometimes I wish I had more filter.

His eyes light up and he nods, making it clear it’s too late for me to retract my offer. “Sounds like a plan. Text me when the coast is clear.”

After I leave Max, I go over to Ellie’s to pick up Tilly. It's almost six by the time I get there. Ellie answers the door and ushers me inside.

“Till’s just finished her dinner. Have you eaten?” she asks.

“No.” I blush. “Max asked me out to dinner, but I felt bad that I haven't seen Tilly in so long. Speaking of which…Tilly,” I call out. I sink into one of the seats surrounding the dining table as my little girl bounds in, throwing her arms around me.

“Mommy!” she squeals. “We ate L‘sunga for dinner and I’m teaching Cassie how to play my Dora game.”

“You’re such a good girl,” I say, ruffling her hair. Her mispronunciation of words is so cute. “Go and play for a few more minutes and then I’ll take you home, okay?”

She nods and gives me a kiss before sprinting out of the room.

“So how did it go?” Ellie cuts in.

I turn my attention back to her. “Okay, I guess.” I shrug. I wish I knew what to think. “The lawyer was really nice and she thinks that Heather doesn't stand a chance. I guess that's a good thing.”

“And Max went with you?” she says, her eyes glistening and a little hint of a smile on her lips.

“Yes, he went with me. You knew he was going with me,” I remind her, my voice dry.

“Hmm,” she says, lifting her eyebrows.

I ignore whatever it is she is insinuating.

“You were there for a while?”

“A few hours. She wanted to know everything. Pretty much the last few years of my life we went over in fine detail,” I say. I sigh, realizing how exhausted I am as she sets a plate of the lasagna and a bowl of salad in front of me. I don’t even have the energy to eat.

“Eat,” she orders.

I oblige, placing a forkful of lasagna in my mouth and forcing myself to chew.

“I really want to go and visit Aidan,” I say out for nowhere. I take another mouthful of lasagna and place in my mouth.

Ellie sits opposite me, her brow furrowed. “What's stopping you?”

“What do you think?” I snort. “Heather. I don't trust myself seeing her. I know I'll say something I’ll regret.”

“Maybe she needs to hear that,” Ellie says, her tone serious. “Kee, you need to do what you need to do for you. Forget about Heather. Forget everyone else and do what's best for you. If going to see Aiden’s going to make you feel better, then just do it.”

Easier said than done. I frown into my food and roll the fork around my plate until Ellie snaps it out of my hand. Sighing, I look up at her.

“I wish it were that easy.” I push the plate away from me and run my hands through my hair. “It's just complicated. I don't even know what to say to Aidan anymore when I visit him. It's like every time I go there it's the same thing. Does it make me a bad person that going there to see him depresses me? I’m at the point where I hate it.” I bury my face in my hands, not quite believing I’m actually saying these words.

“Of course it doesn't. It’s natural. Of course you’re going to feel like that. He’s not the same man that you fell in love with, and you need to stop putting yourself down.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Have you spoken to the doctors?”

“Not recently. I know nothing's changed.”

Ellie nods. “Yeah, but maybe they can give some insight into how this move by Heather is going to affect his condition? Might help your case and the way you’re feeling.”

“That's a good point. Maybe I’ll go there tomorrow,” I mutter.

Standing up, I go in to check on Tilly. She’s curled up asleep on the couch. A wave of guilt hits me. This was supposed to be about us spending some time together. I pick her up and cradle her in my arms, an overwhelming sense of love hitting me.