Love Under Construction (Love By Design 1)

Hunter paused and stopped touching me before he answered. I was a glutton for punishment. I didn’t know if it was guilt, or something else that kept him from telling me.

“It was maybe a month after you left for New York City.” His large fingers rubbed a sore spot on my spine and I leaned into him, enjoying the kink being worked out.

“After I left, huh.” That would also be after our fight eight years ago. Hunter told me he was going into the Marines because there was nothing left for him here. Technically, he left me, he left first, and I had to go or wallow in the misery of what could never be. I took that to mean I wasn’t enough even as a friend to keep him from risking his life going into the military.

I tried to come up with every reason I possibly could but none resonated. Hunter said he wanted to make a career for himself and didn’t have the financial backing to go away to a fancy school in the city. He lived with his aunt, uncle, and cousin, and didn’t want to burden them any longer as an adult. I felt like Hunter was angry with me because I had opportunities he didn’t, but what I didn’t understand back then, what I didn’t know was how hard I was going to have to pay for those entitlements the moment I came home.

“Yeah, before the service. Brittany was a waitress going to the community college here part-time, something in business.”

“Now she’s all up in your business.” My sharp comment made me chuckle and that in turn made me heave, launching me to rest fully over the toilet with Hunter’s help.

He gripped me under my elbows where I let my full weight rest against him. “That’s my girl. Keep thinking those thoughts and let it all out.” Hunter held me steady as the evening’s contents rose up forcefully.

“Ugh, I don’t want to picture it.” I thought more about Hunter kissing that nasty woman and my stomach cramped, sending up everything I was worth into the bowl.

“Well, let my mistake clear the pipes.” He said.

I cried. Hunter chuckled. I coughed and when I was done Hunter took a cool wet towel and cleaned me off.

“I guess I don’t smell like candy anymore.” Morosely my head hung low and I wondered what Hunter could possibly see in a person like her.

“No, definitely not. I’ve got a spare toothbrush you can have.”

“You keep those on tap?” Now I had to wonder what other fillies might be in my best friend’s stable.

“Don’t confuse me with Damien.” Hunter stood in front of me with a wry expression on his face. “Brit tried using mine one time and after that I wanted to make sure she didn’t leave her mark anywhere else in my house.”

“Ah yes, the good old tampon and hair tie trick.”

Hunter looked at me, his brows drawn tight like he was organizing information in his head. I decided to put him out of his misery explaining the rational of the female mind.

“You know—us girls are good at marking our territory.” I gave Hunter a gentle punch in the chest, which he dodged, clasping my tiny fist in his larger hand.

“You won’t find those here, not even for you Taylor Jane.” That statement told me so much and my stomach resumed its weak cramping filled with disappointment instead of bile.

“A little disappointing, Hunter, but understandable.”

“Besides, I know you can repurpose anything you grab into a hair tie.” Hunter smiled and reached into the drawer for a toothbrush, handing it to me. “Think you can crawl back to the bedroom when you’re done?” Hunter’s thumb touched my chin gently and I nodded when he turned to leave, avoiding his glance. So this was Hunter being intense… wow… my stomach flipped, completely empty and now a little sore and strangely hungry. Nothing left to do except brush my funky mouth out and join Hunter... in the bedroom as requested.

I padded along the hallway, fingertips grazing the wall and stopping at each mounted picture frame of family and friends he had up. It reminded me of the stairwell in my parents’ house. A pictorial history I didn’t expect from a man who generally seemed so unattached to anything in his life. There wasn’t enough light to see them clearly, but I knew they were all happy faces and loved ones. Things his aunt probably picked out, but he wouldn’t hang them up unless he liked them. Hunter didn’t do anything he didn’t want to do and the years of our friendship made that startlingly clear.

There were photos of him with his family, a football photo of him in action catching the ball in midair taken by the student paper, one of Damien playing with Kristen’s dog as a young kid, and the resemblance between cousins was uncanny. A group photo of the football team, Hunter, Damien, and Chase—Kristen’s older brother—Evan, and David holding up their helmets. I later learned that he never wanted to play on the team in the first place. The last one, however, was all of us at graduation wearing our caps and gowns, smiling and ready for an unknown future. My smile hid the pain of knowing he was leaving.

He didn’t even stay for the after party, instead driving out of town to the Marine recruiter taking off. My heart still hurt from that day, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t told me, warned me, the rest was my own fault.

It was dark and the only light was at the end of the hallway where Hunter’s door was open just a crack. It was an orange glow and I knew it was the orange construction cone nightlight I found in one of those tourist trap novelty shops off Broadway. I couldn’t believe Hunter actually put it up in his bedroom of all places. I bet it was one heck of a conversation piece when the ladies paraded into his bedroom.

I opened the door a crack

and found Hunter standing there waiting.

“I was about to send out a search party of one.”

Weakly smiling, I saw Hunter kept his sense of humor intact. “As you can see, I made it back in one piece.”

“Good. I’m glad.” He sounded tired and maybe relieved. I was sure he didn’t plan to spend his evening babysitting me and cleaning up my drunk ass.

“So, um, I didn’t say it before but thanks for tonight.” I took a step closer.