One More Time

She stopped jogging in place, but the air around her still seemed to vibrate with energy. I found it intensely irritating.

“How long have you been involved in child care?” I asked.

“Not long,” she said honestly. “Until lately, I’ve been a personal trainer.”

I frowned. “Why did you change careers?”

“I decided children needed my support more than adults,” she said. “Are you aware of the childhood obesity rate in the United States? It’s high. Too high. I aim to rectify that, one child at a time.”

I raised an eyebrow at her and she continued.

“I came up with a workout regimen that works great with kids,” she said. “I’ll have your kids whipped into shape in no time!”

“My kids don’t need to be ‘whipped into shape,’” I said.

“Oh, but they do!” she said with a little too much enthusiasm. “You don’t realize it, but this age is crucial for their development. If they don’t create healthy exercise habits now, they never will.”

“All right,” I said, standing. “I’ve heard all I need to.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yup.” I stood up and ushered her to the door.

“I look forward to hearing from you,” she said with confidence.

“Don’t wait by the phone,” I grumbled before slamming the door in her face. I glanced through the peephole and saw the befuddled look on her face before she turned and jogged back down my driveway.

What a fucking mess.

The next applicant to arrive was a fifteen-year-old girl who was accompanied by her dad. They walked inside and sat down side by side on the couch. I figured I should slow the roll on my dickish behavior with the dad here, and offered him a cup of coffee. He refused and held up a hand.

“Look,” he said. “Before we even get started, you need to know, I’ll kill you if you touch my little girl.”

That got my attention. “I’m sorry, what?” I blinked. “Are you kidding me?”

“I know all about what perverts do to their children’s babysitters and that will not happen to my Tiffany, are we clear?”

“I’m just looking for someone to take care of my kids this summer,” I said. “That’s it. And I don’t appreciate you coming in to my home with that demeanor.”

He sat back and continued to glare at me. I tried to engage Tiffany in the interview, but every time I asked a question, her father would answer for her. I cut the interview short and escorted them out. So far I was zero-for-two.

Where the hell did we move? The Twilight Zone?

Shaking my head, I sipped my coffee and waited for the final applicant to arrive. When she finally did, she was over an hour late and looked high. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her hair was a mess.

I promptly told her to get the fuck off my porch and slammed the door before she could respond. I rested my forehead against the door and took a deep breath. I knew what I had to do, though I really didn’t want to. I needed to swallow my pride and get Emily back. She was clearly the best person for the job and my kids absolutely loved her. I would just have to get used to cold showers and nightly jerk-off sessions. With a sigh, I picked up the phone and dialed Emily’s number.

“Hello?” Emily said.

“Emily,” I said. “It’s Sean.”

“Oh. Hi, Sean.”

“Hi.” I cleared my throat. “Listen, it seems there is not one acceptable candidate in this town to watch my kids. If you haven’t found something else, I would like to sit down and talk about the possibility of you coming back and working for us.”

There was silence on the other end, and I knew Emily was thinking about my offer. It was bold of me to call her up just two days after dismissing her, but I didn’t have a choice. This was the only way I could rectify my obvious mistake.

“Fine, but one condition. Emily finally said.