6 Mountain Brothers for Christmas

“Oh, honey,” I said. “I love you too. And you, too, Tommy.”

Tommy smiled but kept his eyes focused on the grass. I ruffled his hair gently and leaned back, closing my eyes to bask in the sun.

“You’re like a mommy,” Sarah said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, looking at Sarah curiously

“You take care of us,” she said. “You feed us breakfast and lunch and dinner. You always give me baths and put us to bed. And you take care of Daddy too. You make him eat when he forgets, and he smiles more now. He never smiled so much before you moved in with us. That’s like a mommy, right?”

“I don’t know,” I said, unsure of what to say and remembering my promise to never try and take her mother’s place. “But I do know that I care about you and your brother and your daddy so much. I love taking care of you.”

“Will you stay for a long time, then?” Tommy asked, finally looking up. His eyes were so much like Sean’s, I found myself melting as he fixed them on my face.

“I’ll stay as long as you guys will have me,” I said, and I meant it. Being their nanny was the best job I’d ever had.

“Forever!” Sarah said with a giggle. “You can stay with us forever!”

“Yeah.” Tommy nodded. “Forever and ever.”

I laughed and pulled them both in for a hug. They both giggled when I tickled their sides, and soon, we were all in the middle of a tickle fight. Sarah was laughing so hard I worried she might pee her pants, so I calmed them down, and we headed back to the car.

Once inside, I cranked the A.C. and both Tommy and Sarah fell silent. It wasn’t often that either of them were quiet for any length of time, but they’d had a busy day today. They were exhausted, and I wasn’t surprised when Sarah fell asleep before we made it home.

I bent down in the backseat to wake her up, smoothing her hair off her face. She always looked so young when she slept, like she was two or three instead of five. I wanted to freeze this moment, to keep her little for a while longer. My heart ached as she opened her eyes and rubbed the sleep away. “Let’s get inside,” I said to the kids. “But remember, be quiet, okay? Your dad’s working.”

They nodded, and we all headed inside, keeping our voices down and our footsteps light. When we stepped over the threshold though, we saw Sean sitting on the couch, staring off into the distance.

“Daddy!” Sarah said. “We had snow cones!”

“That’s great,” Sean said

without looking over. His voice was short and clipped. I knew immediately that something was wrong.

“Why don’t we do baths before dinner tonight?” I said. “You both got pretty dirty on that trail.”

“So, did you!” Tommy said with a laugh.

“I guess I should shower, too, then, huh?” I said, ruffling his hair.

I glanced at Sean one last time before I took the kids upstairs. I helped Sarah take a quick bath and then set her up in her room to play for a while. While Tommy took his shower, I went into my bathroom to take a quick one myself. It barely lasted five minutes. I rushed so I could get downstairs and check on Sean.

As I toweled off my hair, I hurried downstairs to see Sean still sitting on the couch. It looked like he hadn’t moved a muscle since we arrived back home.

“Hey,” I said, walking over to sit down beside him. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he said. He didn’t turn to look at me. Instead, he kept his eyes trained on the wall across from us.

I looked at it, trying to see what he saw but there was nothing. I sighed and touched the back of his head, gently running my fingers through his hair. When he didn’t react, I moved closer.

“Did the writing go poorly today?” I asked softly.

“It was fine,” he snapped.

“Okay,” I said slowly. “Then what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing,” he said again.

This time, he jerked his head around. His eyes flashed as they found mine, and I quickly dropped my hand from his head. I frowned and looked down at the couch, unable to hold his gaze for a second longer.