That Reckless Night

Her smile lit up her face and in that moment he thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He desperately wanted to kiss her but it wasn’t his place. He had to content himself with simply joining in her joy. “You are a sharp investigator. Your skills are completely wasted in this office,” he said, “but I’ll keep you for as long as you’ll stay,” he added softly.

Miranda held his stare and for a moment neither was sure if they were talking about the job anymore. Miranda searched his face, her gaze resting on his lips as if she wanted to close the distance as much as he did but she held back. A charming smile followed. “I’m not going anywhere,” she said. “Not yet anyway.”

“Is there anything else you wanted to do with your career?”

“I’d like to do something that really makes a difference,” Miranda said. “I know we do lots of good work in our office, and I’m not saying that what we do isn’t important, but I can’t help but think that there’s something bigger, something better for me out there.”

“That’s why you applied for my position?” he surmised. “Now that I know you better, it was a blessing that you didn’t get the job.” He rushed to stop the gathering scowl on Miranda’s face as he explained his reasoning. “Listen, I don’t say that to ruffle your feathers but it’s the truth. You are not cut out to push paper behind the desk. And basically, that’s what I do all day. I’ve had a lot of fun doing some fieldwork, in getting out there, but for the most part an administrator is a paper pusher. And that’s okay for me. I enjoy budgets and spreadsheets and meetings whereas I think all of those things would just weigh you down.”

Miranda lost some of her bristle as his explanation hit home. “You’re right,” she said with a bit of revelation in her voice. “I hate the idea of being stuck behind a desk.”

“See?”

“But I have my son to think about, too,” she countered. “I can’t work the same job for the next twenty years, without any hope of advancement. Eventually, my son will have bigger needs than my meager paycheck can handle. How am I supposed to buy Talen a car? Or put him through college? Aside from the fact that my job is no longer mentally stimulating, it doesn’t pay the bills. Don’t get me wrong—I get by, but I’m tired of just getting by. I want to make a good living and make a difference out there in the world. I shouldn’t have to choose between the two.”

Jeremiah understood and made a sudden decision. “Then you should start looking for something else. Check the federal wire. There’s always something popping up. You might have to move but sometimes relocating is good for a fresh start.”

“Actually, I did look into something—it’s my dream job. But I haven’t applied.”

“Which position is this?”

Miranda seemed reluctant to share until he wouldn’t let it go. She relented with a sigh. “Mary told me about it and I told her it was a dumb idea but she got my mind to thinking that maybe...it might be possible...but now I don’t know. To be honest, my application would have to cross Stuart Olly’s desk and you and I both know how he feels about me.”

Jeremiah swigged his beer and contemplated the validity of her statement. She had a point but he didn’t like the idea of her quitting before giving herself a chance to succeed. “I don’t deny that you’re not Stuart’s favorite person, but that’s no reason not to apply. What is this job? Maybe I know a few people who could help. I have connections, too.”

“The listing is for a Special Services Enforcement Officer. The position is a much higher pay grade, and a lot more responsibility, but it sounds exactly like what I’m looking for. Not only that, I’d only have to go into Anchorage a few times a month and the rest of the time I can work from home.”

“I saw that listing on the wire. You’re right—it would be perfect for you. You should apply.”

“Stuart hates me. Even if I was the best-qualified person for the job he’d still throw my application right into the circular file and you know it.”

“Don’t let fear stop you. You don’t know what’s going to happen. Just do it.”

“That’s what Mary said, too.”

“Then she’s a smart woman.”

Miranda regarded him with open vulnerability and he longed to pull her into his arms if only to reassure her that she was more than qualified to apply for that job. If she was hired, the enforcement division would be lucky to have her. But all he could do was offer the same level of friendly advice as he would to any coworker. He took a hard swig of his beer, hating how he felt inside, as if he were stuck on the outside of the glass, staring into a wonderful life going on without him. “When’s the closing date?” he asked.