It's Complicated: A Reservations Story

“And you went to the emergency room?” she asked in an open-ended tone as if to keep him talking.

“I did. I had to call Thane because the fucking emergency room took so goddamn long, and I was scheduled to work. I didn’t tell him what happened, but it didn’t keep him from overstepping. They kept me overnight for observation. They lied to me and told me my health insurance wouldn’t pay if I took off without their consent. It took me a couple days to figure out that wasn’t true. Fucking Thane got in my head and in the heads of the hospital staff. He asked them to keep me.” Julian was spitting mad when he’d learned the truth about that dick move.

“Now he’s back in town. I’ve been forced to take a few days off. His protectiveness has reached an all-time high, and he doesn’t even know about the flashbacks. I told him I fainted, and it’s still been fucking awful.” Julian rolled his eyes, knowing the most likely culprit of all his disdain landed squarely on Levi’s shoulders. The med student had shown up at the hospital and stayed huddled up with Julian’s care team. They’d given him no say in his own treatment plan.

The frustration was back in waves, bringing Julian to his feet. A coffee table separated him from Sarah and gave Julian a bit of room to pace back and forth, needing to move to keep the aggravation from ruining his mood.

The most annoying part of it all? His missing nights of work had given Franklin the opportunity to talk his way back into the kitchen. The stupid douche claimed his recent divorce messed with his head, causing him depression. He’d given an oath to never let quality slip again. Julian didn’t believe that lie for a second. More like Franklin’s divorce caused the guy too many hangovers from all the carousing he’d been doing.

“What happened to Woofer when you passed out?”

Thankful for the change in topic, Julian gave a silent huff at both her weird questions and the dog’s behavior. “They couldn’t get Woofer to move away from me. I’m surprised they were able to hold him back from following the ambulance. He tried to get in there with me.”

She nodded and smiled as if she had expected that answer. Julian had gotten Thane back for meddling in his care by sending Woofer to Escape to stay with the Walker-Silva clan for the night.

“This is good, Julian. I know it might not feel that way, but it is. You’ve been successfully coping, but not necessarily living. I want to see you again in the morning. We need to begin preparing you for more memories to surface.”

Did he hear her wrong? He absolutely refused to restart daily sessions with her ever again. “You’re too expensive, doc,” Julian said, getting to his feet. “I can’t afford to come here every day.”

“Julian, your health insurance pays me now, not you. How about eight o’clock in the morning?” she asked, staying in her seat as he ran the palms of his hands over the wrinkles in his cheap pants. He hated those fucking wrinkles.

“It’s too early. I don’t get home until after two in the morning.”

“Woofer will wake you. I’m not worried. And perhaps it’s time for you to use him properly. Just a suggestion, but his purpose is to provide you with emotional support. It sounds like he’s really doing his job.”

“Now wait a second, don’t give Woofer a hero of the year award just yet. He didn’t break my fall…” Julian couldn’t even continue that line of teasing, even if for humor’s sake. Woofer had been next-level good to Julian.

Damn it, now he owed the dog his deep appreciation.

Julian gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes and twisted away as he headed for the office door. Fuck it if he wasn’t going to have to keep that damn dog. The attachment he’d been trying to avoid settled over his heart, moving Woofer into the same category as Thane and the others for helping him through this awful ordeal.

Hell, he should be Catholic with as much guilt as he carried.

Sarah rose to her feet as the almost silent beep of the alarm went off, letting him know their session had come to an end.

“You’ve been through a lot, Julian, but I believe these are positive steps. I want you to consider, once again, that it may be time for you to stop making assumptions about what other people feel. Your eyes lit up with the way you spoke about the man you danced with. That’s a first in all the time we’ve worked together. I’m not saying he’s the one for you. I’m saying it may be time to reconsider the possibility of more.”

The round and round of counseling had his jaw setting tighter. Julian had already made these decisions months ago. No matter his draw to Beckett, he didn’t want to be beholden to another living creature. What he wanted was to have his old life back—a secret he’d not shared with anyone.