100 Days

I dunno if I can ever walk again...

Usually I say that because of sex.

Today it's because of food.

I ate soooo much! OMG. I think I need to go get on the treadmill and run for like 50 miles and then get on the stairclimber for like 98 hours and then have like 100 hours of vigorous sex to work off all the food I ate oh no!

But I got your emails and ok, fine. I will give Match.com guy a chance and respond back to his texts. So many of you were like oh my God, give the guy a chance he's probably intimidated by the whole thing I figured why not. But if he doesn't try anything - like if he doesn't put his hand on my knee or cop a feel or try to squeeze something or kiss me and just shakes my hand and says goodnight - that's it, I'm walking.

The best line I heard from your responses was:

"Men are like onions, they can either really enhance a dish or stink on your hands for a week. You never know, until you peel them!!!"

I LOLLed so hard!

Anyways, I'm going to go relax for the night, and actually Michelle Love sent me this book to take a look at and it was great! Take a look if you're in food coma with me and need to sit down with something sexy. Also, grab your freebie at the bottom!

Goodnight!

Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

Alexis

Hopes and Dreams

So much stuff to give away...

Hey babes just dropping you a message as I leave the parental units and head back. It’s really awesome because I’m gonna be on an Amtrak train and sitting near the window as the train rolls along looking out the landscape and writing. Seems kinda romantic.

Maybe a handsome stranger will sit across from me and look me in the eyes and ask me what I’m doing. And I can tell him I write smut and I’m writing a sex scene. And he would ask me, do I ever practice what I write? Then he’d see the look in my eyes and we’d go into a bathroom (?) and he and I would proceed to have sex. Then he’d get off at my stop and live real close to me and end up being a world class billionaire chef who also gave amazing massages and he’d scoop me up and take me forever to heaven – also known as The Ritz Carlton Hotel. Here, we would live happily ever after.

Uhm, wow. I need to come back down to reality.

Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

Alexis

Train

So I read this book on the train...

I loved it! It was so amazing!

Ashlee Price baby, I was reading your book on an BART train and getting all squirmy!

BART stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit.

But I couldn't do anything about it because uhm, hello, I'm on a train. So like I just kept reading. Anyways, I got home a bit earlier and I definitely uhm, rectified the situation.

Oh speaking of, I talked to Match.com Guy #1 after you guys were like yeah give him another shot. So we’re meeting up tomorrow now. He’s taking me to some wine and cheese cave in the Castro. Yeah, I don’t know about going on a date in the Castro. It seems kinda like a bad omen. But we’ll see. I mean, at least this guy is taking me on dates, and he’s not like lets grab a few drinks and then bone, you know? Because sometimes, that’s what it feels like dating has become. Sometimes you don’t even get a meal anymore! I dunno about you, but I’m not putting handling your sausage till I eat some steak.

And it doesn’t even have to be steak. I mean, I’m happy with shrimp! Or lobster. Even arugula. But definitely bread. Like breadsticks. No pasta though because summer is coming.

And oh my God, get ready to hear me moan about summer coming. So I have boot camp Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday this week to get in shape for summer. I only have a month and half. Luckily, my book boyfriends won’t care if I’m pale. Or have that extra few pounds that winter seems to hide so well.

Taxes

If taxes were only like romance novels, life would be easier...