One to Leave (One to Hold 5)

“When Patrick took your place, I thought I might have to kick his ass.” My partner laughed. “I couldn’t understand why you’d sent him to work with me.”

Grunting, I thought about Derek in those days. Allison had died, and he’d turned into a bigger, darker version of me when it came to women. He was angry, and he was mean. It wasn’t who he was.

“I was a bad influence on you.” I finished my glass before reaching for the near-empty bottle.

“You didn’t have anything to do with how I was back then.” He went quiet a moment. “Melissa is the skeleton key to that mystery.”

“Melissa’s your fiancée?” He’d only mentioned her a few times, but from the way his voice changed, she had to be pretty special. I knew how he’d felt about Allison.

“She’s fucking adopted your little brother.” He rubbed his face. “He took care of her at a time when I couldn’t.”

My lips tightened against another cramp twisting my midsection. “You owe him one,” I managed to grunt out.

His eyes cut to me then. “Need another ibuprofen?”

I held out my hand in an attempt to say no. He didn’t press it. Another thirty seconds, another minute, the pain finally eased. We were back to quiet. I thought he’d fallen asleep when he spoke again.

“You can’t fight for your country now. I get it.” He rubbed his forehead, probably trying to think against all the alcohol we’d consumed. “There has to be something you can fight for, though. Fuck, Stuart. Find something.”

Staring at the fire, I thought about it. He was working hard. He was doing what I’d do in his place if the tables were turned. He wouldn’t let me give up, and I appreciated the effort, even if I knew it was futile.

“Yeah,” I said, wanting to let him off the hook. “I’m going to work on that.”

My eyes rose to the stars spread over us. Nothing interested me as much as being in the service. Nothing f

ulfilled me the way working hard, being on a team, defending millions of Americans who never even knew my name did.

Derek’s breathing grew steady, and I knew he was asleep. I pushed myself through the pain and staggered back to the cabin. We both needed heavy blankets to get through this night.

A streak of white passed overhead, and I thought about shooting stars. They were pretty common out here, but some people had never seen them. Some people made wishes when they did. As I watched it fade, my mind drifted to a pair of sunset eyes I’d only seen once.

* * *

Mariska

Kenny had come so far since Slayde left. She wasn’t crying anymore. She ran all the time. I was ready to suggest she sign up for a marathon, wait for summer and become a triathlete, go for broke and do an Ironman.

What I couldn’t do was burden her with my problems.

Last night I’d woken up screaming. Screaming! My whole body was on fire, and the noise and explosions had my heart beating out of my chest.

The man with the dark hair was in a limp pile on the sand. I couldn’t tell if he was dead, and I couldn’t make my body move to get to him. Then those hands returned, dragging me away. The overwhelming stress of needing to get back, of him being out of reach, the anger at being dragged away... I was supposed to die, not him!

Oh god, it was too much. I couldn’t take another night of this, but I didn’t know what to do.

Flipping to the back of the notebook where I kept my smoothie recipes for the Jungle Gym, I sketched the outline of a face I’d only seen once. He was beautiful. Sexy, powerful, determined, and so wounded. I spent a lot of time on his eyes. They were more green than brown. I only shaded them lightly.

The more I drew, the more his soul emerged on the page looking back at me. My eyes burned and my heart ached for him. Why was I having his dreams? I was convinced the only way to make them stop was to go to him.

I needed to talk to Kenny. We’d been best friends since we met in art class at college, and we’d always told each other everything—from Yaya’s passing to Lane’s birth and her fears that Elaine hated her to our plans for the future...

No. I couldn’t burden her with my suffering right now. She needed a break. Still, I didn’t know what else to do. Yaya said sometimes you had to follow your heart, even if it seemed to be leading you in an unexpected direction. Was it possible she’d tell me to follow this strange path and see where it led me?

Closing my eyes, I filled out the vacation slip for a week off of work. I wouldn’t think about it. I wouldn’t back down. This could either be the best decision or the biggest mistake I’d ever made.

Maybe I should talk to Kenny.

* * *