Heathens (Depraved Sinners 2)

“Of course I’m not sure,” I throw back at him. “I’d give anything to not be in this position, but it sure as fuck beats allowing you to put your hands on me.”

Roman doesn’t respond, just drops his gaze back to the first aid supplies and starts preparing what I need. A moment of silence passes between us, and as Roman holds up a small needle and starts measuring something out, Levi strides back into the room, thankfully leaving the door wide open. Though it’s not like I’d be able to get away from them, not even if I tried.

Levi sits across the room, his heavy stare locking onto my body and trailing over every single scratch, bruise, and cut, even the ones he didn’t have a damn thing to do with. “What?” I snap, glaring across the room and hating how much those stunning dark eyes still seem to call to me.

He softly shakes his head as though he can’t seem to find the right words, confusion marring his perfect face. “I just …” he cuts himself off as he presses his hand to his chest. “Something … it hurts right in here. I’ve never felt … I don’t know what this is.”

I let out a heavy sigh and turn my attention toward the first aid supplies in Roman’s hands. “It’s grief. Heartache. Regret. Sorrow. Despair. Whatever the fuck you want to call it. It’s what happens when you screw up and your whole fucking world comes crumbling down around you. Though I don’t expect someone like you to understand what that’s like. You’ve never known what it means to care for anything that doesn’t share the same DNA.”

“I don’t like it.”

My venomous glare pierces into his dark gaze. “You don’t like the feeling? Or you don’t like the fact that deep down inside, you’re still a weak human who has absolutely no control over his emotions? You’re nothing better than the rest of us.”

His eyes harden, and for a minute, I must have forgotten who the fuck I was talking to, but he doesn’t respond, simply drops his gaze back to the wounds covering my body.

“Here,” Roman says, placing the small syringe needle down beside my hand, being cautious not to allow his fingers to brush up against mine. “This is an anesthetic to numb the area. You need to inject this all around the wound, inserting only a little bit as you go.”

I swallow hard and pick up the small anesthetic needle, having seen this plenty of times from working at the bar when things get a little too rowdy and the paramedics need to be called. I hate getting needles just as much as the next guy, but doing it to myself is going to test me. Though it couldn’t possibly be worse than digging out the tracking device in my arm. The only difference is hopefully this time, I’m not going to feel it.

Letting out a shaky breath, I hold the needle over my skin and stare, knowing that until the anesthetic actually starts to work, it’s going to sting like a bitch. Then sucking in a terrified hiss, I push the tip of the needle into my aching skin.

“Ah, fuck,” I grumble, my lips twisting into a cringe.

“A little bit further,” Roman instructs, leaving all the bullshit behind just to make sure I don’t injure myself further. “Then inject the anesthetic.”

I do as he says and after a slight pause, I move to the next section and repeat the process over and over until there’s no anesthetic left in the syringe. “How long is this supposed to take?”

“A few minutes and then you’ll be able to start stitching yourself up,” he mutters, getting the suture kit prepared and pushing a few pills toward my hand, again being careful not to touch me. “Take these. They’ll help with the pain until I can find you something stronger.”

I meet his eyes for a moment before hesitantly taking the pills, and before bringing them to my mouth, Levi stands, his dark eyes flashing with unease. “Let me get you a bottle of water first,” he says, his gaze dropping to the ground, not waiting for a response before he strides out of the room.

Not a word passes between me and Roman while we wait for Levi’s return, and they’re the most brutal silent moments of my life. Curses, screams, and anger sit on the tip of my tongue, begging to fly free, but I swallow each one of them, now not being the time for us to get into it.

Levi returns a moment later and hands me the bottle. Instinctively, I reach for it, my blood turning cold as his fingers brush against mine. I pull away as quickly as humanly possible, taking the water with me and hating the pain that rests in his features, but not feeling sorry for him one bit.