Brogan (Carolina Reapers 9)

Daisy and Maddie both looked up at me with confused faces, neither one of them daring to speak.

“I mean,” I continued my ramble. “I couldn’t stay. Staying would mean that we’re back together. That the engagement is back on the table. All of it. And it wasn’t like he came out and said those exact words to me.” I raked my fingers through my hair, my heart racing like I’d run a marathon.

“You need to sit down,” Daisy said. “You’re making me dizzy with all your pacing.”

I sank into the chair across from the couch. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m just totally baffled how you don’t see it.”

“See what?” I asked, my eyes jumping between my friends.

“How deep in love that man is with you,” Maddie answered. “You can’t even fight without ending up having crazy-hot sex. That doesn’t happen to everyone, you know?”

“Not to mention all the other obvious reasons,” Daisy added. “Like the fact that he trusts you with his daughter or that he makes you laugh or that he is totally aware of your commitment issues and isn’t pushing you on the matter. And the fact that he paid off your loans so you wouldn’t feel obligated to come back to him for a job.”

I let my head fall into my hands, feeling like an absolute asshole for leaving him before he woke up. But I’d panicked. I’d spiraled right back into that scary tunnel of not knowing what to do about how much I loved him. Because I did. So much. Too much.

“What if I give in?” I asked. “What if I say yes to him, and the minute we say I do everything vanishes.” I snapped my fingers for emphasis, and they both rolled their eyes.

“You are not your mother,” Maddie groaned.

“And you’re smart enough to know what’s real and lasting and what isn’t,” Daisy said.

I bit my lip, panicking.

“Seriously,” Maddie said. “Look at the facts.” She ticked off reasons on her fingers. “Did you and Brogan meet at a casino in Vegas and drunkenly get married?”

“No.”

“Did you meet him on an island resort and have a vacation fling that led to a marriage?”

“No.”

“Did you get stuck in an elevator with him and convinced yourself he was your one true love?”

“No,” I said and actually laughed a little. Though the reasons sounded ridiculous, they weren’t far off from the way my mother found husbands.

“How did you fall in love with Brogan?” Daisy asked.

I inhaled deeply, letting myself really feel everything from the past few months. I fell for him in the moments between the job—the tiny pieces of time carved out especially for us. Between his kisses and his jokes, between being the cure to soothe his sharp edges and him being the strength to carry the baggage I held. I fell for him with every smile, every laugh, every rough night that threatened my sanity, but just the notion that we were going through it together somehow made it bearable.

“Fiona?” Daisy asked when I’d bolted out of the chair.

“There were a million reasons I fell for him,” I said, heading toward the front door.

“And?” Maddie asked.

“And none of them are fleeting. They’re the long-lasting, solidarity, get-us-through-anything kind of reasons.”

Daisy and Maddie sighed, their faces screaming finally.

“And?” Daisy asked, biting back a smile.

“And I’m an idiot. I have to go.” I whirled toward the door, my heart racing with a whole new kind of rush.

I loved Brogan Grant.

And not just the quick, passionate kind of love.

The forever kind of love.

And I needed to tell him before I lost my chance at a happily ever after.

21

Brogan

Enough was enough.

“You sure you don’t mind watching her for another hour or two?” I asked Evie, leaning out of my car window.

“Not at all,” she promised from the door, Skye on her hip. “You do whatever you need to.” She gave me a reassuring smile and shut the door.

I’d held my shit together through morning skate. I’d even kept myself in check during the game, though I did get called on roughing when one D.C.’s forwards got a little too up in Sterling’s crease.

But the second we’d come off the ice, I’d started to lose it.

Fiona hadn’t been there when I’d woken up. Apparently my message hadn’t quite gotten through to her. Fine, I guess I was going to have to try another way. This entire situation was so fucking stupid that I could hardly stand it. I loved her. She loved me.

I’d planned out my speech the whole drive home. I was going to tell her how much I loved her—lay it all out on the line, and if that still wasn’t enough for her, then fuck it.

Liar.

Fine, I was going to bare my truth, and if she still didn’t see, then I’d just have to find another way to win her back.