Having The Soldier's Baby (Parent Portal 1)

He could never return to being the man who knew the feel of only his wife’s body wrapped around him.

Armed with that knowledge, the plan became clear. He even understood now why fate had left him hanging high and dry. He had to go.

Had to do what he’d been telling himself all along.

Had to leave her to find a man with whom she could be happy. Where old vows didn’t haunt her. And new ones would be keepable. And kept.

Gathering his keys, he headed toward the door.

“Where in the hell do you think you’re going?”

Her words stopped him in his tracks. He noticed a new, somewhat shrill tone come to her voice a time or two since she’d become pregnant. It had reached new levels.

“You think you’re ever going to walk out on me again, Winston Hannigan, you just better think again.”

He turned around. “But...you said...”

“I said it’s too late for me to be back where we were,” she said. “I didn’t say give up and walk out the door before we could figure out what or where that leaves us.”

There was sense in that. He heard it. But more, he heard the sense in his own brain that was telling him to sit back down and wait.

He followed orders.

“So...” She sat back down, picked up her knife and fork, cut a piece of what had to be cold steak, and ate it. “Where does that leave us?” she asked.

He wasn’t sure if the question was rhetorical or if he was supposed to come up with an answer. The way she’d asked, and was paying more attention to eating...

After another couple of bites, she pushed her plate away. “Where does that leave us?” she repeated.

He’d had a better chance of coming up with a plan in the desert. He couldn’t think straight, with her sitting there, giving him a chance to have a life with her again.

He remembered being fourteen, tripping over himself to get to her every day. Afraid to say something she’d think stupid and have her move on to the next guy. He’d told her so. She said she’d been feeling the exact same way about him. They’d talked for hours.

Become best friends.

Forever.

“I think we were right, Em. I think that some couples are predestined to be together. I think Clara and Harold are like that, too. Some souls, they leave wherever they came from, with a connection so close there that they have to live this life together.”

She teared up. And shook her head.

“But I think we were wrong to think that that connection was protected. That it would keep us safe from whatever challenges life gave us. I might die too young, Em. Or you might. We might not be able to have a second child, let alone four. I’m called to put my life on the line, to protect others, whether I’m a solider, a special agent or something else. I have to risk my life. But it doesn’t mean that my heart is anywhere—first, foremost and always—other than right here with you. That’s what I think.”

Tears flowed down her cheeks. She was shaking her head.

He’d put it all on the line. Had nothing else.

Except.

“I love you, Emily. Every moment of every day since the second I met you, I’ve loved you. I can promise you that. I loved you so much I changed clothes with another soldier. And when I was with Afsoon—” he had to get it out there, whether he lost her or not “—the only way I could get my body to respond was to close my eyes and think of you. You asked me how it was with her. Truth is... I have no idea. I was so far into you, pretending I was lying with you, remembering you, that I have no idea how she felt...”

Sobbing, Emily reached out her arms to him and Winston realized he needed no plan. He picked her up, even ha

d sense about him to blow out the candles, and took her back to their room, to their bed, to hold her until they could both start to believe that they had each other back.

That the war was over.

At least for them.