Her Motherhood Wish (Parent Portal 3)

He cared, too. But knew better than to tell her so. Because he didn’t believe it was anything that would last. He would not let her become another Elaina in his life.

He knew the world saw him as lacking. He’d seen the looks on others’ faces when he admitted he’d never graduated from high school. There was no way a guy like him could challenge a woman like Cassie for the long haul.

And yet, it was women like Cassie, smart, strong, hard-working women, who most attracted him. He wasn’t a butt or breast man. It had never been about the looks to him, so much as it had been the person.

He’d expected to show her the bench and then take her home. To talk about the baby some. Maybe hear how her dad would have loved having a grandson. Or a granddaughter, if the results had gone that way.

“Elaina thought I should open a furniture shop, too, to sell the stuff I make,” he told her. As though she’d understand the things he wasn’t saying. “She went on and on about it the first time she was in my workshop. And still mentions it now and then.” Elaina was always wanting him to reach higher. Not for the money, necessarily, but so that he could make a name for himself.

He liked the name he had.

When he finally glanced Cassie’s way, he caught her staring at him.

More explanations battled for expression. He fought back. The more he wanted to tell Cassie, the more he knew he shouldn’t. Because to do so would cross a line he couldn’t afford to cross. He might not fully comprehend it all, but he didn’t doubt his instincts.

“It’s one of the reasons our marriage didn’t work.”

His arms started to itch, like they did when he wanted out of wherever he was.

He didn’t want to leave. Or to take her home and then part.

“Another is that we married in a time of extreme emotion, extreme need, and that didn’t end up translating into romantic love.”

Her mouth hung open.

He’d said too much. Or not enough. He couldn’t tell which. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not shocked, Wood, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she finally said, facing the grave now, not him. “And I don’t want you to be sorry. I just don’t know what to say.”

Or probably why he’d said what he had to her.

“And since the divorce?” she asked. “Obviously you date.”

He shrugged. Uncomfortable in a new way. “Casually. Elaina gets on me because she says I go for women in need and then get used. But other than with her, I’ve gone in with my eyes open, enjoyed some time and haven’t been hurt when it’s done. I’ve spent my whole life caring for others. It’s what I’m good at. But if that means that, ultimately, I live my life alone, I’m okay with that. It’s nice to be alone sometimes.” To not have to worry about anyone. He didn’t say the words aloud. They made him sound selfish.

And maybe, in some ways, he was.

“Do you ever think about having a family of your own?”

He supposed the question was fair. “I think I’d be a good father.” He’d known how to provide for Peter. How to help his brother over the hurdles of teenage troubles in a way that had strengthened Peter, not weakened him.

“I think you’re a good man, Woodrow Alexander.” Cassie’s voice

had softened. As had the look in her eyes. It was like she was touching him with gentle, featherlight caresses. He wanted to close his eyes and savor the feeling, but he knew that to do so would break the spell.

He closed his eyes, anyway. He had to break away from Cassie or become a man he didn’t want to be, one who wanted what he couldn’t have.

“We should get going,” he told her but didn’t stand immediately.

“I’m not going to fall for you, Wood, and then realize that it was only the emotional upheaval of pregnancy and the scare for my baby’s life that made me feel that way.

“I promise you,” she continued. “I’m aware of the dangers, and I won’t let that happen. I’m only looking for whatever friendship you want to offer. And would be honored to return the same.”

He met her gaze, searching for any sign of weakness in her, and found none.

“I find you incredibly attractive,” he told her.

“I’m attracted to you, too. But I won’t take a chance on you and then, when our world’s right, change my mind.”