A Mother's Secrets (Parent Portal 4)

He had, of course. But... “That was before I had the settlement,” he said. “I intend to make another, and I should have just done it and kept my mouth shut. I just want you to know I’m a good guy. My intentions are pure and...”

Frowning, she put down her pen and glanced across at him. “I don’t doubt your intentions, Dr. Howe.”

“Jamie, please. We’re in a medical clinic. The ‘Dr.’ seems a bit pretentious at the moment.”

He had his students call him Jamie. Emily had been the only one who used Jamison. The way she’d said it... Like an endearment...

“Look—” he stood “—I bungled this. I’m not myself this morning. I don’t normally ramble. Nor am I in the habit of offending people. I am, however, used to narrowing things down to the logical and then acting upon what’s there. This isn’t that.”

“No, it’s not.” She remained in her seat as he walked toward the door. He had to go. Had to think. Maybe refigure.

“Would you just do me one favor?” he asked, as he turned to tell her thank you. And goodbye.

“I’ll try.” She’d placed her pad on top of a file. He assumed his and Emily’s.

“Would you at least consider my original request? Let it just hang there for a day or so before dismissing it outright?”

It made no logical sense, his need to have her be the one to carry his child. And yet it was the only option that made sense to him at the moment.

Maybe after he met with the grief counselor he intended to call as soon as he was out the door, he’d see things differently.

Surely his emotional insistence that this near stranger was the only woman who could carry his child was merely residual grief. Something someone on the outside would see clearly. Nod his head about. Assure Jamie that he wasn’t losing his mind.

Christine was staring at him again. He saw no horror in her expression. Wished she’d stand up and come out from behind her desk—anything that might make it feel like there wasn’t an impenetrable gap between them.

“I don’t want you to expect me to change my mind about carrying your child for you. Or even have hope that I might.”

He heard the but she didn’t say, which kept him standing there, tense and ready to feel the sunshine on his skin. To run until his feet burned.

“But, of course I’ll let your request ‘hang’ for a day or two. I expect it will be on my mind for years to come,” she finished.

He didn’t know if she was being sarcastic, or just plain honest, and didn’t wait to find out.

With a nod, he fled.

Chapter Four

The roofers were still at it when Christine got home after six that evening. Two levels were done, the third, almost so. Then they’d just have the turret. And she’d get the final bill.

And was praying it didn’t come in any higher than the estimate.

Old houses needed new roofs. And she needed this old house. She also needed money to replace the plumbing.

Still, looking at the new, lighter-colored shingles as she pulled slowly down the old, but statuesque street with its large, beautifully manicured green yards, she smiled. Gram and Gramps had to be smiling down from heaven. They’d loved this place as much as she did. Or close to it.

They, after all, had had each other—and her. She just had the house.

She knew she could get a loan to help to make the fixes. But the idea of borrowing frightened her.

When you only had yourself to count on, and you were your own employer, if something happened to you and you couldn’t work, or your business got sued, you’d be unable to make large monthly payments, which could result in foreclosure.

You didn’t put yourself at risk like that.

Her dad and her stepmother, Tammy, the woman her father had married not long enough after Christine’s mother died, thought she should sell the place. But then they thought she’d been stupid to invest the entire inheritance left to her by her mother’s life insurance to open a small fertility clinic rather than accepting any one of the high-paying jobs she’d been offered at a number of health facilities.

They’d said they wanted her close. Wanted their son, her half brother, Tyler, to grow up bonding with her. She loved Tyler’s fifteen-year-old smart-ass self, but she’d never felt like a member of their family.

From day one, she’d been a mere visitor from her father’s past life.