Her Secret, His Child
Her silence condemned her.
"Men like him don't marry women like you, dar-lin'," he drawled. "It's the way the world works."
Jamie couldn't say a word. She knew he was right.
"That's why there are men like me to make life easier for you," he said. "To keep you in the lifestyle you've grown accustomed to."
"I've been keeping myself for years, Nelson, and will do so until the day I die." Marriage, even if it had been offered, wouldn't have changed that.
"You're going to play hard to get, eh?" She could hear anger through the forced charm in his voice. "You were always an expensive filly, but I suppose, since you're somewhat more mature, I should up the ante a bit." He named a sum that would pay her mortgage for a year.
Something inside Jamie broke. Cracked in two.
She clutched the phone so tight it bruised the palm of her hand. "I'm an accountant, Nelson. Nothing more," she said coldly, and hung up on him.
When the phone rang again seconds later, she refused to pick it up. But she heard his message loud
HER SECRET, HIS CHILD
and clear as it blasted through her answering machine.
If she didn't come through for him, he was going to tell everyone in Larkspur Grove just what kind of woman she really was. He especially thought Dean Patterson would like to know he was recommending a hooker to all his acquaintances.
As Jamie sat there, the blood draining from her face, she could think of only one thing—what this would do to her daughter. The horror that Ashley's life would become.
And what about Kyle? Once her past was public knowledge, it wouldn't be long before people put two and two together and came up with five. They'd assume Kyle had been one of her clients.
Her mind in a fog, Jamie tried to think. To act, rather than react. But she couldn't move. Terror had robbed her of strength. She couldn't even raise a finger to erase the damning message.
She could refuse Nelson. Kyle would stand by her. And, of course, Ashley wouldn't know any better than to be on Jamie's side. But both of them would take unlimited abuse if they did. Kyle's position at the university could be threatened. Other kids would be mean to Ashley, their mothers not letting them play with her.
She could do as Nelson asked. He'd be discreet. He always had been. She had her invisible room to hide in, her way of coping. It would see her through.
Spurred on by nausea, Jamie found the strength to race for the bathroom. She barely made it in time. And being sick didn't bring any relief.
TARA TAYLOR QUINN
Because there was no relief. There was no way to fix this. No right answer. She'd already made her choices. There was no taking them back. No making them better. She couldn't rewrite history.
Finally accepting the truth, Jamie knew what she had to do. Ashley and Kyle stood to be hurt—unless she left town now. Alone. Then, when the truth about her came out, instead of the town's scorn they'd have everyone's sympathy. She had to leave them, taking her sins with her.
Ashley would miss her, of course. Head against the bathroom wall, she sat there and planned the end of any life that mattered to her. The little girl would be devastated for a time, but it was far more con-scionable to allow that than to ruin the girl's entire life. Jamie could hardly remember being four herself—except the part where John came to live with them—and knew that Ashley's memories of Jamie would eventually fade. It probably wouldn't even take all that long with Kyle around. He'd love their little girl enough for both of them. Of that, she had no doubt.
And Kyle. While he'd be upset at first, he'd probably also be relieved. Maybe even surprise himself with the extent of his relief. She knew he loved her, but he couldn't let himself completely accept her. Doing that would mean he'd have to accept his mother, too. Which was something he'd never be able to do.
Jamie didn't blame him. His mother had done some disgusting, unforgivable things.
Surprisingly calm, numb, Jamie rose, found a duf-
HER SECRET, HIS CHILD
fel and started throwing things in. Her college diploma. She'd need it to work wherever she ended up. Some clothes. A picture of Ashley.
She couldn't decide which one to take. As she leafed through them, her pain broke through the ice surrounding her and the tears poured forth. Leaving Ashley was going to kill her.
Sobs racked her body as she carefully tucked away every single picture of Ashley she had. All the ones she had of Kyle, too. Their spring vacation at the resort, the first time he'd driven Ashley to school, the day he'd shown her his office and classrooms. Without looking at any more, Jamie added the rest of the pictures to her bag. Someday, when she'd found a way to live with herself, she'd look at them again. Maybe there'd come a time when she'd be able to see them without feeling as though she'd been ripped in two.
The camera she left for her daughter, setting it on Ashley's dresser, ready for the little girl to begin building new memories. Memories that wouldn't hurt her.