Her Secret, His Child

He didn't know what to say, how to explain.

"My choices were made a long time ago," she told him matter-of-factly. "I'm not allowed to change them. So I might as well know the joy of having sex with the only man I've ever loved, don't you think?"

He might have thought so if there'd been any emotion in her voice at all.

"No…"

"Oh, I get it." She sat up, moving away from him. "You don't want to be dirtied." She didn't even sound as though the words hurt her. ' 'I understand."

HER SECRET, HIS CHILD

The thing that tore at him most was that she really believed she did.

"You're wrong, Jamie," he said, taking hold of her hand, caressing her fingers. "About so many things."

"I know, Kyle." She nodded. "I always have been. I think I was born that way, you

know—with something wrong inside me." She could have been discussing the weather. She was completely and totally resigned. As though today's honorable act had drained all the life out of her, had sent the real Jamie, the true Jamie, far away.

Kyle hoped to God he wasn't too late to bring her back.

"Will you let me speak, please? Without putting words in my mouth?" He couldn't have any coherent thoughts, let alone express them, if she kept interrupting him. And he'd never needed coherent thoughts more than at this moment.

Obviously surprised at his frustrated tone, she nodded without another word.

"In the first place, the only thing I meant you were wrong about was how I feel about you—about making love with you. And mark my words—" he brought her hand up to his lips "—when we sleep together again, which we'll do very soon I hope, we won't be having sex. We'll be making love."

He thought he saw a spark of light in her eyes, but it was gone so fast he couldn't be sure.

"That's why I stopped you, honey. I couldn't let you compromise your principles. You aren't ready to make love yet. But when you are, we will."

She was staring at him, not even blinking. He

TARA TAYLOR QUINN

took that as a good sign. "I love you, Jamie. More than life itself. Without you, my life means nothing."

"I lost my virginity when I was nineteen, to a man old enough to be my grandfather," she said baldly, apparently expecting to shock him.

"After a full year of being friends with him first, and believing that he loved you and was going to marry you."

"How do you…" She was frowning at him.

"Karen." They both said it at the same time, though Jamie's rendition of her friend's name wasn't very complimentary.

"She told you everything." Her eyes were dead. He couldn't even determine if she was still looking at him or just through him.

"Enough," Kyle said, so filled with love for her he wished he could wrap her up in it. "The rest of the details are yours to give if and when you want to."

She pulled her hand away. "That's why you're here."

"I'm here to ask you to marry me." He had no idea if the time was right, knew only that he had to be honest. "That's why Karen gave me the information she did."

"You actually told her you were going to ask me to marry you?"

She didn't sound excited about that—didn't even sound as if she believed him.

"It's the truth." He took her hand again. "I was going to wait until Mother's Day, and since you left