Her Secret Life

Michael didn’t push her for more.

“You sure you’re up to going into work tomorrow?” he asked on Sunday night. She was out on her balcony, watching people on the street below. She shivered against the cool night air, hugging her sweater closer about her but not wanting to go inside.

It was getting better already, the claustrophobia that she’d been fighting since Friday night. “I’m sure,” she told him. Work would bring her back full circle. Back to herself. By letting her leave Kacey behind and become Doria. “Daytime TV doesn’t wait.” She’d said the same thing to Lacey and her parents. “I also know I’ll be fine here at home. I sent Lacey back to Santa Raquel tonight. She needs to be with her family.”

She wasn’t going to live her life afraid of her shadow. Or whatever else might be lurking in corners. She’d seen danger coming and she’d walked right into it.

Because she hadn’t been able to discern. The dangers that she needed to fear were the ones right in front of her. The ones she could see, but not identify.

She’d had a long talk with Sara Havens on Saturday and had an appointment to meet with Bloom Freelander on Monday night. The psychiatrist was going to make the trip to Beverly Hills to meet with her. Said it gave her an excuse to drag her new husband to the city to eat in style.

Kacey recognized the excuse for what it was. An attempt to make her feel less guilty for Dr. Freelander’s drive on her behalf.

It didn’t work. She still felt guilty.

But she couldn’t go back to Santa Raquel. Not yet, anyway.

Michael told her about Willie. His one beer. And the fact that the teenager had been walking around like a worried pup ever since, going out of his way to please his brother.

“Have you let him know it’s okay?” she asked, relaxing as he shared his life’s ups and downs with her.

“No.”

“But...Michael...”

“I can’t, Kace.” Michael sounded tired. She thought of the other night on her sister’s couch when she was snuggling up to him. Hard to believe on the very night she’d been attacked she’d been able to find a measure of peace anywhere, let alone in a man’s embrace.

“I thought about it. Lord knows I want to,” he was saying. “Hell, I drank my share of beer when I was his age. Probably even in front of him. But with Willie’s history, I can’t let anything go. At this point, he has to be accountable. Not so much for the beer, but for doing it in my home, behind my back. I have to know I can trust him. And he has to know that he has to be trustworthy.”

He was right. And she told him so.

“Have you seen Bo?” he asked.

She frowned. Bo had been over that afternoon, as soon as she’d told him she was home.

“Yes.”

“And?”

“When I called to cancel our date last night, I’d just said I wasn’t feeling well. I’d decided to wait until I was home, to tell him about the attack in person. And I’m glad I did. It was good that he could see that I was fine.” He’d been upset, but relieved, too, that the worst of her injuries were bruises that could be covered up and would soon fade.

He knew her looks mattered to her.

“He was actually great about it,” she told Michael. But she didn’t add how much better she felt hearing Bo say, about fifteen times, that looking at her, he couldn’t tell.

She wasn’t proud of herself for caring.

And yet...

“Will he be there with you tonight?” It wasn’t a Michael question.

“No.” Being glad she could tell him that wasn’t a Kacey reaction.

Shaking her head, she didn’t try to figure it all out. For now, as everyone kept telling her, she just had to get through one minute at a time. Tomorrow, when she talked to Dr. Freelander, she could try to sort out the rest of her mess.

She and Michael talked until they were both falling asleep. And then, with her phone in her hand, she went in to bed.

* * *