My Babies and Me

“Not once she’s standing.” Seth chuckled. “It’s just a bit of a chore for her to get up.”

He knew it. She needed help.

“So how’s she managing to take care of herself?”

“She’s found a way to get up, of course,” Seth said with admiration. “But it involves some rolling and sliding, and she refuses to do that at the office any more than she has to.”

Oh.

“So, how you doing, brother?” Seth asked quietly, seriously.

“Fine. Great.” He lied.

“Doesn’t sound that way.”

Running his fingers through his hair, Michael glanced down at his impeccable suit, his shiny designer shoes, and didn’t find a single thing he liked. “I should be feeling fine,” he said. “She threw my offer to marry her right back at me, which certainly relieves any feelings of guilt I’d been harboring.”

“She told me.”

“You think she meant it?” Maybe that was the problem. Maybe he didn’t believe Susan’s claim that she didn’t want him around. Maybe that was why he still didn’t feel free.

“Yep. I know she did.”

Michael swallowed. Seth’s words should be liberating. They shouldn’t hurt.

“I guess I just need a little more time to realize I did the best I could and my best wasn’t good enough. That I’m truly free.”

“You wanna know what I think?” Seth asked. But he didn’t wait for an answer. “Of course you do or you wouldn’t have called.”

“Smart-ass.”

“Yeah, well, you got the smart part right. Here’s the thing.” Seth’s voice lowered, filled with respect. “I think maybe you had to be free from any sense of obligation to be able to determine how you really felt. And maybe, just maybe, what you’re feeling now is the true problem.”

“I’m not following you.”

“You’ve been feeling trapped, right?”

Michael stood by the window, looking out into the gathering dusk. “Right.” That was an understatement.

“And you blame the feeling on your impending fatherhood.”

“Of course.” He’d only started feeling claustrophobic after Susan had brought up the whole pregnancy thing.

“What if it was something else, instead?”

“Like?” He rubbed his forehead, as though he could actually make the throbbing go away.

“Maybe what’s been trapping you is your job. Maybe it’s your career keeping you from what you really want, not the other way around.”

No way. “I love what I do.”

“Yeah, man.” Seth’s voice sounded almost sad. “I know.”

“Don’t tell Susan I called.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

“You’ll call if she needs anything?” That understanding had been in place forever.