Husband by Choice

After her restless night, she was exhausted.

And still couldn’t sleep.

She never should have married Max. Tears sprang to her eyes at the thought, but it was true. She knew Steve better than anyone. She’d known he’d never leave her alone. She’d wanted so badly to have a normal life. To have a family of her own. To love and be loved.

She’d wanted to believe that all she had to do was have the courage to start over. To open her heart and let trust be reborn. To hope and dream.

But she’d known, with some part of her, that she couldn’t have a normal life. Steve wasn’t just an abuser. He was her owner. In h

is mind.

And still she’d married Max. She’d given birth to a child.

Knowing that they could be in danger someday.

Now it was up to her to fix that mistake.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

She didn’t need to open her eyes to know that Lila had taken the seat next to her. But she opened them anyway.

Sitting sideways, facing Jenna, Lila was fully dressed in beige pants, a cream-colored blouse and a beige sweater. Her graying hair was pulled back into a bun. Jenna concentrated on the toes of the plain beige flats on the woman’s feet.

She didn’t say anything.

“Thank you for being out here,” Lila said softly. From her supine position, Jenna couldn’t see her face. She saw the older woman’s hands folded together, resting on her knees.

“The pool’s been open for almost a month and only a handful of people have used it. Mostly moms who come out to let their kids swim.”

There were certain hours when the pool was open to children. And there were adult-only swim times, too.

“I was hesitant at first about having a pool installed,” Lila continued. “Most of our women...they’ve got scars to hide outside as well as in...and then it occurred to me that that was exactly the reason to have a place where they can remember the joy of sluicing through the water or lying out in the sun without having to be self-conscious. And maybe...if they get used to it here, they’ll continue to go to the pool or the ocean when they leave here, too.”

Jenna had scars. On her back. Both upper arms. On the back of her neck and the front of one thigh. When had she stopped thinking about them? Remembering to hide them?

Turning over, she sat up.

“Max made me feel beautiful,” she said. Lila knew about Meredith. Officer Wayne Stanton had agreed to keep her whereabouts and her name change secret. Last night, in her office, Lila had, too.

Neither of them knew why she’d insisted they not tell anyone. And that if they did, she’d leave the shelter.

Lila would never condone Jenna’s plan to confront her abuser alone. But that was the only way Steve wanted her. The only hope she had that he wouldn’t immediately go on the defensive....

Glancing at Lila, Jenna was surprised at the warmth in the other woman’s eyes. Lila was a professional. A woman in her position couldn’t afford to get emotionally involved with the hundreds of women who made their way through the shelter.

“I didn’t realize it until right now, you know,” Jenna said. “I didn’t realize that I’d lost that feeling of being...physically ugly. I cover the scars out of habit, not because I’m consciously aware of them, or aware of the questions they’d raise in other people.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I forgot that.”

Max hadn’t just told her she was beautiful. He’d shown her. The man had been so hot for her she’d barely been able to get him to put clothes on when she was around. He was a little better since Caleb had been born. A little more circumspect. But his sexual appetite hadn’t waned one bit.

Neither, for that matter, had hers.

An astounding feat for a woman who’d grown to hate sex and everything about it.

“Your Max sounds like a pretty incredible man.”

Jenna’s eyes narrowed. “What do you know about Max? Have you been talking to someone?”

She didn’t mean to sound accusatory, but this was her problem. She’d created it. She’d fix it.