I'm Yours (Bold As Love 2)

“You want to raise a baby by yourself,” I ask incredulously.

“I want you to go to college and be in the NHL. If that is what it takes, then yes.” She opens the door and runs inside.

What the hell just happened?

Emily

I run straight to my room and slam the door behind me. I cry into my pillow and wish Jake would take this opportunity. Jake’s dad was right. Even if it means me and my dad are raising my baby, it would be best to at least let Jake live his life unrestrained.

That’s why Jake’s dad wanted to talk to my dad. Dad didn‘t agree. He doesn’t think I should have to raise this baby alone. He thinks Jake should

take responsibility of his actions too. I think that too, but I really want Jake to go chase his dreams. Jake’s dad called me later that night and convinced me. Besides, no matter how much I rather have Jake here with me every step of the way and to see his baby grow and help raise it, there is nothing I want more for Jake than to have him go chase his dreams. That realization is the only reason I did what his father asked.

My life was going to change no matter what. Why do the same to Jake? He has always wanted to be in the NHL. I couldn’t let this take that away from him. I won’t let it. Even though it was only three in the afternoon, I cried myself to sleep and slept until the next morning.

I avoided my father this morning. I felt numb as I drove to school. I spent all morning avoiding Jake. Lunch was when it happened. He came up when I wasn’t looking and cornered me. “Damn it Emily. This is not going to happen. Now tell me what in the hell is going on.” His eyes searched mine as he firmly held onto my shoulders.

I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest. His arm wrapped around me making me feel protected and loved. His voice was low and soothing. “Shh. It’s going to be okay, Sweetness. I just need to know what’s going on.” He tilts my face up so he can look at me. His thumbs swipe away my tears. I shake my head.

He rests his forehead on mine and closes his eyes. “Emily, please. This is killing me. I just want to know why. If you tell me why you really, truly want this, then I’ll do as you ask.” His eyes pop open and search mine.

I sigh, slip my hand in his, and pull him out of the cafeteria. I lean against the wall and bring his hand to rest over my heart. “Just listen first okay?” He nods. “Your dad called me. He explained to me his wishes and frankly, I agree with him. We both want you to be able to go after your dream, no strings, and that is why I told you that you could leave me.”

Anger flares in his eyes and his hand tenses. “Son of a…”

“Jake. Please. It makes sense to me.”

“Bullshit. I’m supposed to let go of my responsibility because my father convinced you that that was what I needed to do? Sweetness, I’m going to be a father in nine months. This is something between you and me. We decide what we should do concerning one another. We’re adults now. We make our own decisions and live with the results. So just answer me this: do you, not my father, do you want me to be there?”

I can’t lie to him. I’m afraid to speak so I just nod. He tucks me into his embrace and kisses the top of my head. “I was so scared,” he whispers. “I love you so much Sweetness.” I squeezed him tighter. I don’t want this moment to end.

I gulp and quietly say, “I still want you to chase your dream, though.” His eyes search mine, looking for something.

Whatever it is, he gives a crooked smile as if he’s found it. “I don’t have to chase my dream, Emily. You are my dream. All I want is you. Anything else is a bonus.”

My heart swells at his words. I give him a sweet kiss. “Let’s go eat.” We return to the lunchroom, grab some lunch, and sit down at the table where Jake leans over and places a kiss on my temple. I smile at him and we eat lunch in a surprising silence.

Having a baby is suppose to be one of the most exciting things in a woman’s life. Being my age and pregnant with my future ripped from my hands is not exciting. Maybe a little shopping will do me good. I’m going to need bigger clothes here shortly anyway and the baby will soon need clothes too.

The next month passed in a blur. Between doctor appointments, classes, finals, and being pregnant in general, it was tough. Jake and I had been discussing our future. His father, of course, wasn’t too happy with me when Jake stormed home and told him to stay out of it. However, the plan is to work the entire summer to save up some money. Then we would go to Charlotte and stay with my grandmother to save some cash. I’ll take online classes while Jake goes to college full time. My grandmother will watch the baby when Jake can’t. We’ll both have jobs with all of that. Good thing I’m not planning on getting a lot of sleep.

I’ve gained some weight and had to get bigger clothes. I secretly bought a little, super soft teddy bear and this cute onesy for the baby. Sometimes, I would find myself talking to him or her. “We’ll be okay, won’t we baby? You’ll be a little bundle of joy, I’m sure.” Whenever I would get scared or nervous, I talked it through with the little life growing inside of me. It always made me feel better.

Graduation is today and then we are going to be workaholics. We had to prepare for this baby as much as we could. Watching my body change little by little has been amazing. I’ve actually enjoyed it. By next week, I’ll be thirteen weeks. I had been thinking of different names for a boy or a girl but I’m too indecisive about it. I talked Jake into meeting with Conrad, Melanie, and his little boy to just see how they’ve been dealing with it. We are supposed to meet with them tomorrow at lunch.

My hands make their way to my stomach to rest. Pain shoots through my abdomen and I double over in pain. What was wrong? I rush to the bathroom where I see that there is a bit of blood rushing out. After ten minutes, the pain and blood subside. I should be okay now. There’s always a little spotting, right? I change my clothes and drive to school, where my dad is already waiting. I find my place in line and pull on my graduation attire. We march in and have a seat after the pledge of allegiance. Oh my. Pain crosses my back and it hurts. I bite my lip to keep from screaming out.

I watch in a painful haze as Jake gets his diploma. He smiles at me and I return with a fake smile. I try to cover up the pain. I guess I pulled it off. Almost there, I tell myself as my row is called to stand. Metallic taste explodes in my mouth. Bit too hard. Pain bursts in my stomach and I grab onto the railing to hold myself up. After a minute, the pain subsides. Two more people before me. I can feel blood seeping out. Oh god. What’s happening? The next person is called and I try to stand straight and act normal. I take a deep breath and swallow.

“Emily Johnson.” I walk over to the principle, shake hands and grab my diploma as he congratulates me. I smile. I did it. I walk across the stage and go down one step when it happens. Pain cuts into me deeper than before. I double over as blackness enfolds me. Last thing I hear is Jake’s voice calling out my name.

Jake

Seeing Emily collapse, my heart races. I call out her name, jump up, and run to her. I cradle her in my arms and see blood on the floor. Oh no. God, no. “Sweetness, wake up. Emily, c’mon.” I hear commotion around me as an ambulance is called and Mike rushes over.

“She’s having a miscarriage,” Mike says softly.

No!