Always (Bold As Love 4)

1

Emily

Jake's face is somber as he enters our apartment. The smile on my face disappears as I ask him what's wrong. His feet are bags of sand as they drag their way over to the couch, where I'm sitting. Jake turns his body so that he is facing me. My stomach clenches, expecting to hear bad news, and I wonder what it could be.

“Sweetness, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay...” I trail, my heart picking up pace because it's never good when he needs to talk to me.

“I've been asked to go to a hockey camp in Canada for two weeks and word is that scouts will be there.”

“That's great! This is so exciting, love.” And it is! This is huge, and my stomach is tingling with anticipation at what is to come for Jake's career in hockey.

“Let me finish, Sweetness.” His voice is calm, sobering me immediately. Is it bad that he's going to this camp? I don't understand why he's being so serious. “It's an incredible opportunity for me and I don't think that I shouldn't not go. I have to give them a decision by Friday.”

“What's the problem then?”

He doesn't say anything. His eyes search mine, waiting for me to figure it out, so he doesn't have to tell me himself. What would Jake not want to tell me? I replay his words in my mind. For two weeks... It dawns on me that it must be the two weeks we're planning to spend at the cabin — the only two weeks we would be able to go. Even though Jake is trying to hide it, I can see the excitement brewing in his eyes.

I'm pissed at the timing though. Friday is two days away. Surely, they wouldn't give him that short of a time to decide. Anger burns like a slow fire within me at the revelation.

“How long have you known, Jake?” I ask evenly.

“Since Valentine's Day.” His voice is full of regret to match his green eyes.

“Are you kidding me? Jake, that was months ago! Why are you just telling me this now? You've known all this time that I would say go. You've known that we weren't going to the cabin. Yet, you've led me to believe that we were! Seriously, Jake? Ugh!”

I get up and walk out the door, ignoring him when he calls out my name. I drop to sit on the steps. I'm angry. Angry that we aren't going to the cabin, but more so that he waited until now to tell me. It's hard to tamper down my excitement, though. This could be Jake's year. Still, he should have told me as soon as he knew. How could he keep something so big from me? Sure, he could have been nervous about me being upset about not going to the cabin, but this is so much bigger than that. I would have understood. I do understand. After about five minutes, I'm more calm than before. Jake takes the chance to come outside and sit with me.

“I'm sorry, Sweetness.”

“Yeah. Go ahead and tell whomever that you're going.”

“I wish it wasn't during those two weeks,” he tries to console.

“Yeah. Me too. We'll get over it.” I'm being bitchy, I know, but now that he's back out here, I'm annoyed with his decision to wait until now to inform me about this.

“Sweetness, don't be like this.” His soft tone breaks me.

“Jake, it's fine. The main reason I was mad is because you waited until now to tell me. It's over. You're going to Canada and I'm going home.” A light bulb appears over my head, lit. I know what I could do. Why shouldn't I do it? We are still good friends and I really want to meet his little boy. “I know what I'll do. I'll go down to Conrad's and visit with him. He's been trying to get me to go down and see his little boy anyway. See? No worries. I'll let Conrad know.”

I jump up and head inside, Jake following closely behind me. My phone is laying on the coffee table in front of the couch. Before I can pick it up, Jake reaches around me and does so instead.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“You're going to spend two weeks with Conrad?” He raises an eyebrow almost as if he's challenging me.

“Not the entire two weeks. Don't be silly, Jake.” But the wheels are already turning as I see where he's going with this, and I can't believe he doubts me. After everything we've been through, he still doubts my love for him when it comes to Conrad. I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his neck. “Why do you still doubt me?” I ask quietly, looking into his forest green eyes.

“I don't.”

“You do.” My arms slip from his neck as I walk around to the couch and flop down with disappointment. I don't understand where Jake is coming from. I'm with him after all. Not Conrad. He sits beside me a few seconds later and pulls me into his lap, making him sit forward and me with my legs stretched out on the couch. Jake rests his chin on my shoulder and my heart swells at the small action of him moving my hair back to reveal my neck.

“Would you worry if I was going to spend two weeks with another girl?”

“It's not two weeks,” I begin but Jake cuts me off.

“I'm serious, Sweetness.”

“I trust you, Jake.”

“I trust you too, but...”

“But nothing, Jake.” I'm getting frustrated with him. He needs to just spit it out.

“Emily,” Jake begins as I go to get off the couch, stopping me in my tracks at using my name. I sit back down and wrap an arm around his neck, resting my head between my arm and the crook of Jake's neck while I wait.

“It's the fact that it's Conrad,” Jake finally shares. That pushes a button and Jake immediately knows it. “Let me rephrase that,” he starts.

“No. Get your thoughts together, okay? I'll be in our room.”

I remove myself from Jake. I feel as if we were stuck together and I have to pull myself away quickly as if snatching a band-aid off. Tossing myself onto our bed, I bring my arms up to my head and rest my head on them. I'm really trying not to argue with Jake. He's making it so damn hard though.

Or am I the one making it hard?

To get my mind off this mess, I grab a book to read. Only Jake's history textbook is the closest thing to me, and I'm bored to death within five seconds. Two hours after scouring the book to find something of interest, Jake peeks around the door.

“Love, please come save me,” I beg, rolling over onto my back and away from that wretched book. Jake smiles, knowing that the storm has passed, and jumps onto the bed besi

de me. He has his torso on mine with his elbows propped up on each side of my head. My love leans down and places the sweetest, softest kiss upon my lips.

“I love you,” he whispers, his eyes bore into my own.

“I love you too. I'm sorry.”

“For what?” he asks.