Always (Bold As Love 4)

I can practically hear the smile in Emily’s voice. “I’m glad to hear that. Tell me more about your day.”

I go into detail about my day, running over all the plays, the other people I’ve met, everything. Once it is midnight here, I finally say goodbye to Sweetness because my roomie is giving me glares. Sleep comes swiftly, knocking me into a deep slumber.

Eve cons me into waking up extra early to eat breakfast with her at a Denny’s across the street. Sitting across from Eve, half dead from exhaustion, I rethink my decision-making skills. Eve is way too perky this morning. Figuratively and literally, thanks to her coming out in her pj’s with no bra. Who goes out in public like that anyway?

I shake my head of the thought and focus on scarfing down the food in front of me. An order of syrup-dowsed pancakes, eggs, and bacon with a glass of milk sits before me. I keep my eyes pointedly focused on my food and not on Eve’s breasts.

Don’t get me wrong; Eve is a beautiful woman. However, my heart belongs to Emily and no one else. I’m not about to slide my eyes over Eve’s figure and appreciate it when I have Emily.

“Did you call Emily last night?”

“Yep,” I reply after swallowing a bite of pancake.

Eve shakes her head. “Is that why you’re so tired? You stayed up late talking to her? You are so whipped, Jake. What’s so special about Emily anyway? One day, y’all are together and the next, she kicks you out. Doesn’t sound like love to me.”

That’s it. I’m sick of this kind of talk coming from Eve. My response is out of my mouth faster than you can say Fu-man-chu.

“You don’t know anything about Emily.”

“Yes, I do, Jake. I know everything about her because you told me. The girl is an emotional train wreck and she drags you down with her.”

“Better she has someone by her side than no one at all.” Eve goes to open her mouth, but I stop her. “I’m not going to listen to this nonsense about Emily. Either shut up or I’m leaving.”

Eve’s composure changes. “That’s just it, Jake. It’s not nonsense. It’s the truth.”

“It’s nonsense for you to think even for a second that I would consider leaving her when she needs me most.”

“Jake, listen to me for a second. You are a great guy with a fantastic future ahead of you. How do you think Emily is going to deal with you being gone for months at a time? She needs more than you have to give her, Jake. I just think that you should call it off now rather than later. Do what's best for you both. That way you can have your career without being weighed down by her needs, and she can live her life happily once she gets over you.”

“I love her, Eve. Why would I leave her when she needs me?” Why am I actually putting thought into what she is saying?

“Because, if you want to pursue your career to the fullest and allow her to live a life with the husband who will be home more than not, then that's what you need to do. Think about it. That's all I'm asking. She doesn't necessarily need you. She needs someone to be with her more than your career will allow.” Eve pauses as if she's mulling over a thought and her eyes pop. “You would ask her to come with you, wouldn't you?”

My stony expression must be answer enough for her. We finish breakfast in silence, and once it is over, I slide out of the booth and leave without another word. I head back to my room and get ready for the day’s events. Eve’s words brew in my mind all day. Sure, Emily needs me a lot, but isn’t that part of being in a relationship? Being there when the other needs you? Being there period?

Emily’s past is a huge reason for her “neediness”. Which brings me to why I’m thinking about Eve’s comments. When will her past completely stop running her present? Her past makes her who she is today, right? How will that ever change?

Not that I don’t love Emily the way she is, but it does cause some problems occasionally. That I can’t deny. Damn it! Why did I let Eve get to me? The girl drives me crazy and not in a remotely good way. Looking back, I can see that she’s been making comments like this morning about Emily all along. I desperately want to talk to Emily. Of course, I’m hesitant because I’m not sure how she will take it.

How would any girl take it for that matter? Eve is telling me to leave my girl because of my career. I’m amazed at how strong and fragile Sweetness is all at once. She is one of the strongest people I know, but at the same time, she’s so fragile. Like glass. It’s strong and sturdy but one wrong move or bump and it’s shattered. Can she handle my absence for periods of time? If I were drafted, would I ask her to leave her Dad behind? It would be different to move out of state with her boyfriend than across the state with me for school.

I overanalyze last night's conversation and the text I received from Conrad, who said that Emily admitted that something really was bothering her about my trip. Separation anxiety, her words to be exact. What kind of man would I be to continue putting Emily through that? Why is the thought of her moving farther away from Mike bothering me so much? I know why and I hate it. That Jake who is weak from fear of rejection not only wonders if she would want to come, but if I could ask her to leave her dad behind. Her home. Why am I even thinking about this? Nothing has even happened yet.

Training for the day is over, and I crawl under the covers, reaching for my phone on the nightstand. My roomie is out of the room for the moment and I need to hear from Sweetness. She answers on the fourth ring, temporarily scaring me.

“Hey love,” she answers sleepily.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine. How was today?”

With a deep breath, I spill partial beans about Eve, only telling her the first half of the conversation. Sweetness doesn’t say anything. She listens the entire time and stays silent, even after I finish.

“Sweetness?”

“What do you think about what she said about us?”

“Sure, there’s some truth to it, but it doesn’t matter. I love you for you. The good and the bad.” And I do.