Back to Me (Carolina Rebels 1)

“Why are you still here?” We turn at Meredith’s question. She’s standing at the opening of the hallway with Leo against her chest.

“I just—”

“He’s just leaving,” I say over him, grabbing his shoulder and guiding him toward the door. Lucky for him, he doesn’t protest. After closing the door behind him, I turn to Meredith to find her sitting on the couch. “How did he find the apartment?” I ask.

“He found out where I worked and Erica told him how to find me.”

“What?” I’m certain giving out personal information like that has to be against policy. Regardless, it pisses me off.

Mere shrugs as I sit next to her, causing Leo to hop over into my lap. “I’m just glad he’s gone.” She rests her head on my shoulder and holds my hand, her fingers biting into my skin. “Are you sure we’re okay, Noah?”

“We’re okay,” I confirm.

Her fingers relax just a bit. “Good.” We sit like that for a bit. Quietly. Lost in our own thoughts. “He was mean when we broke up,” she begins quietly. “He told me I was pathetic for being so lost without my job and in the same breath said I was worthless without it. He wanted us to be some kind of tennis power couple or something. I missed my period the month I started PT, but I thought it was just because I was so stressed. Then, when I missed it again, I took a test and found out I was pregnant three days after we broke up. He was convinced I was using it to get back together and trap him into a marriage with me. I even tried to tell him I didn’t want to marry him, but he didn’t believe me. So, I left. Went home.” The tears start all over again.

“I was trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life and the one I had inside me. I needed to do that before I told anyone else. Part of me was sure my parents would be disappointed in me. I had a broken engagement, was pregnant, and didn’t have a job. My plan was gone, and I needed to come up with a new one. I had gotten used to the idea of being a mom and had started thinking about how I was going to do this on my own. I was about to start my second trimester when it happened. After that, I was so heartbroken. I just couldn’t make myself tell them what happened. I was even home for a month before I let anyone know I was there.

“Then, Mom knew the engagement was off simply because I was home and refused to say anything about it. I eventually got stir crazy and maybe a little crazy from reexamining my life, which led me to decide to find you. That’s what I would’ve told you if Vance hadn’t shown up. I knew I needed to tell you when you showed me the ring. I...” The word dies in her throat. “I was due this month, Noah,” she whispers.

I lift our hands and kiss her knuckles. So much of what she said now makes sense. “You can lean on me, Mere,” I say quietly, remembering how she said she didn’t have anyone to lean on during the worst time of her life.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you.”

“Does our future still look the same?” she tentatively asks.

“Absolutely. We’re getting married this summer. Don’t worry; I’ll ask you at some point, and we’ll buy a house. One day, that house will be full with as many kids as you want.” My number one priority is her happiness. If she wants those things too, then I’ll give them to her.

Meredith takes a shaky breath and lifts her head to look at me. “How many kids are you hoping for?”

“I want my own hockey team.”

Mere laughs; I said the right thing. “Pick another answer,” she tells me.

“Fine. Six. That gives me three forwards, two defensemen, and a goalie.”

She leans away from me like she can’t help but fall over, holds her stomach, and giggles. To see her laughing, knowing what she’s been through in the past year and knowing she’s mine, it’s like a damn miracle. I grab her elbow and tug her to me for a kiss. The giggles cease, but the smile stays. “Six? Really?”

“What did I tell you while I was getting the tattoo?” I ask.

Her smile fades a bit as she remembers, but it’s still there. “That you would be okay with only my name on your body for the rest of your life, but you hoped to add the names of our kids one day, whether it was one kid or six. You said the most important of all was having me,” she recalls quietly. “I had forgotten that.”

“It’s true to this day and always will be, Mere.”

She slips her arms around me in a hug, resting her head on my shoulder again. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

The rest of morning is spent lounging on the couch and playing with Leo. Meredith’s only additional comments about what happened is that the only reason Vance put forth the effort of calling her most likely has to do with shutting his new wife up rather than a guilty conscience or actually wanting something to do with the baby who would’ve been born this month.

When I leave to drive to the rink for the game tonight, I call Hope.

“Noah, how are you doing?” she asks when she answers.

“Good. I don’t really have much time, but I wanted to call you real quick.”

“Okay,” she says warily. “What’s going on?”