Where We Belong (Carolina Rebels 6)

“Nope.”

That doesn’t make any sense. Not after the ordeal my last day there.

“Hayes told everyone you needed time off for personal business and he’d cut the balls off of anyone who was gossiping or shit like that. I tried to joke that you were obviously the favorite and he even gave me a warning look. No one is willing to say shit because of him. I mean, I’m your brother and I’ve been banned.”

“If only we could ban you completely,” Julie grumbles.

“Now that was uncalled for,” Cal objects.

I ignore them both. “Is it better or worse that he’s being like that?” I ask Cal, who shrugs in return.

“Could be a good thing. He’s made everyone realize that whatever it is, it’s serious and not to be joked about. That will help when you get back and tell everyone why you were out.”

“Who said I would be doing that?” The thought in itself horrifies me.

My stupid brother rolls his eyes. “I am. You can’t miss all this time and expect the team not to ask questions. I think for trust reasons you should tell them. It won’t be a big deal. And then, everyone can—”

“Can what? Watch me like a hawk to see when I’ll break down next? I don’t think so, Cal.”

He levels a stare at me and I know he’s about to challenge what I said. “What if the team makes you?”

“They can’t. It’s medical information; it’s confidential.” Thank god I have that going for me.

“Fine. What if they suggest it? You’ll say no and leave the people we’re closest to wondering what in the fuck happened with you? You’re being selfish, Collin. The team can potentially help and be there for you and you’re refusing based on your own pride.”

Pride? He thinks this is about pride?

“It doesn’t have anything to do with pride,” Julie steps in. “Would you want me to share with your teammates how you abandoned me because you thought I was pregnant?” Cal’s eyes widen and his jaw drops. “You didn’t want a baby to interfere with hockey like Collin doesn’t want his anxiety to do the same thing. You don’t want your teammates to know what you did, based on your own shame, just like Collin doesn’t want his teammates to know that he suffers. He thinks it is private, just like I bet that’s what you think of that situation. He doesn’t have to share if he doesn’t want to and the last person who should be pressuring him is his own brother.” She takes a bite out of a fry and ignores the stares from the both of us.

All I got out of that was the word shame. “I’m not ashamed.” Julie rolls her eyes, causing me to look at my twin. “Right?”

“Do you think you could still be a role model to kids if they knew?” Julie asks before he can answer. “If the answer is no, then you’re ashamed.”

I could be a role model, but I don’t know that I’d be a good one. Cal glances back and forth between us for a moment.

“She’s a lot more vocal than I remember, and she was vocal before,” he says as if she’s no longer in the room with us.

“Perks of learning and growing after being treated like shit,” Julie comments nonchalantly. She stands, takes all the empty dishes, and leaves us at the bar.

I watch her start a load of dishes, not really wanting to think about what she said. Any of it. If she’s right, that’s one more issue I need to work on and fix. I have enough problems as it is.

“The guys are getting together soon and I’m supposed to make sure you come.”

Cal brings my attention back to him. “Just the team or family?”

“Family.” His gaze drifts to Julie and he frowns. “Julie has already made headlines with the spouses and for some reason, they want to meet her. And Hook said he still expects to see you for the morning runs and workouts.”

This is the part that sucks about taking time off without an actual injury. I still have to stay in the best shape as possible. There’s nothing stopping me from being on the ice or working out. It would be stupid not to keep my body going as much as I can. But it’ll be hard being with the team and not actually being with the team.

“A few of the guys said they’d come early or stay late to scrimmage with you on the ice to keep your legs somewhat fresh.”

Julie suddenly whirls around, flinging suds off the dishrag she’s holding, and throws her hands up. “Is this all y’all talk about? Hockey? All you’re going to do is stress him out more, Cal. Surely y’all talk about something other than the game.”

Cal and I exchange a look. Hockey is pretty much it for us these days.

“Unbelievable!” Julie throws the dishrag in the sink, sending water everywhere, and storms off to our bedroom.

“A lot more dramatic, too,” he mutters.