You and Me Forever (Oh Captain, My Captain 6)

“I’m trying. I’m almost there,” I say to Hadley.

“Try harder!”

Just as I think I’m close enough, my skate disappears and the ice hardens. Oh, no. My hands frantically run over the now smooth surface. Furious and fearful, I slap my hands down. The ice breaks, a hole forming, and two hands reach out of the water. One is Valeria’s young, small hand. The other is Hadley’s; her hand is blue now. I quickly lie on my stomach, grab both of their hands, and pull. Hadley comes closer, but Valeria’s hand slips from mine.

“No! Valeria!” I scream, searching for her. I hurry to pull a coughing Hadley out and then reach into the water for Valeria.

“She’s gone, Luca,” Hadley whispers.

My body goes still. She’s right. Valeria is gone. I lost her again.

Despite the chill I felt in my dream, I wake up drenched in sweat, breathing too hard. My hair is stuck to the edges of my face and my shirt is sticking to my back. I toss the covers away from me. I’m too hot, my heart beats erratically, and my pulse is threatening to burst from my skin. Stumbling into the bathroom, I turn on the shower to the coldest setting. I step in fully clothed, closing my eyes as the water pours over me.

Hadley’s never been in my nightmares. Why was she this time? My body officially cools off when I wonder if this means something has happened to her. I step out of the shower, almost slipping on the tile floor as I run to my phone. The screen is stubborn with my wet fingers, so I wipe my hand on the bed, finally able to call her.

She sounds sleepy when she answers, “Luca?”

I start speaking frantically, asking if she’s okay, when she interrupts me.

“Luca, slow down. It’s three in the morning and my Russian isn’t that good.”

Taking a deep breath, I force myself to speak English. “Are you okay?” There’s a pause from her, which freaks me out. “Hadley, answer me!”

“I’m fine,” she responds. “I was asleep. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Rel

ief overwhelms me as I crumble to the floor. “I’m fine. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“Luca, what happened? You were panicked and scared.”

My heart is still threatening to burst through my chest. “I had a nightmare and it just got the best of me. I thought something might’ve happened to you. I’m sorry–”

“Oh, Luca,” she interrupts. “I’m sorry you had another one. I–”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Nothing out of the ordinary happened? You don’t feel weird or bad?” I’m not going to believe it until I see her. My hands are shaking and the chill from my wet clothes is starting to make me cold. “I shouldn’t ask, but can you come here? I’m not in the perfect condition to drive or I would come to you. I just need to see you.”

“Yeah, I can. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be on my way. What room are you in?”

“603. Be careful.”

Every second, the nightmare replays in my mind as I attempt to analyze it. I feel guilty that even in my own dreams, I couldn’t save my little sister. And this time, Hadley was there, too. My stomach rolls with the thought.

A knock sounds on my door, so I push myself off the floor to answer. Hadley’s hair is a mess and she looks worried. Tonight is the first time I’ve spoken to her since I left her house the morning after we made love. I pull her against me, wrapping my arms tightly around her.

“Why are you wet?”

“I was hot, so I got into the shower. Thank you for coming.” I usher her inside.

“You should change.”

I can breathe a little easier now, so I grab some clothes to change.

“Luca,” Hadley starts while I’m in the bathroom. “Why would you be worried about me?”

It’s not until I walk back out that I answer her. “I just was.”

Her lips part as if she’s going to push for more, but she doesn’t. “Do you have them every night?”