Tainted (Oh Captain, My Captain 7)

“So…do you forgive me?”

“Yes. Now, can we stop all this mushy bullshit and eat? I’m starving.”

“Absolutely.” She grabs the tray and rests it between us. We begin eating and I casually ask a question I’ve been thinking about. “So, have you thought about what you want to do? With your future, I mean.”

“Well, I actually thought about this just the other day. I mean, I can’t stay here forever, so I was thinking of trying to get a part-time job and maybe going to cosmetology school. I like hair and nails and it seems a little easier than stripping.”

“That sounds like a plan, at least, which is good. Did you finish high school?”

“Barely, but yes, I did,” she nods.

“Good. Then all you have to do is get started and you’ll be well on your way.”

“Valo, it’s not that easy. I need to save and well, maybe I could get a loan, but I still need to figure all this out.”

“I can pay for your schooling, Jade. Then you could save your money for whatever comes after and whatever you decide to do then.”

“Wait…what? What did you just say?”

“That I would pay for your school? I told you I’d help. This is me: helping.” God, I hope she doesn’t argue with me on this. I want to help her and I would like to do it without her fighting me every step of the way.

“Well, that’s what I thought you said. I already live here in exchange for being your maid. I can’t do that. I’ll figure it out.”

“What’s the difference in me doing it and someone loaning you the money?”

“What would your interest rate be? A blowjob everyday or a fucking three times a day? I already feel like I’m an on-call mistress; are you just trying to add fuel to the fire, Valo?”

“What the hell are you talking about, Jade?” I sigh. I hate her way of thinking. “This has nothing to do with sex. I’ve told you that doesn’t have any part in this. In fact, you were the one who initiated it, so how does it equate to you being a mistress? If that’s what it feels like for you, then we don’t need to have sex at all. I’m not expecting anything in return.”

She pokes at her pancake while she thinks about it. I want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her she can trust me, but I know it’s not easy for her. Jade takes a deep breath. “Can’t you see this the way I do? Look at it from Gus’s point-of-view. I’m living in your house, you’re paying for everything, and I’m a friend. None of that adds up. Now, you want to pay for my schooling. You know what?” She shakes her head and looks angry. “Fuck it. Pay for the schooling. I’ll make sure you get the paperwork. Then you can fill that hero-complex role.”

“I thought we were done with the friend crap. And you’re telling me there’s a difference in me helping a friend and me helping my girlfriend? There’s not. I’v

e loaned friends money before, I’ve paid for shit without wanting them to pay me back, and I’m trying to help you, but you keep fighting me over little details. I’m not trying to be a hero for you. I’m just trying to help you, be your damn boyfriend, and before I can do anything, you’re fighting with me. And, Gus can keep his fucking mouth shut,” I finish with an aggravated tone.

Jade’s mouth is slightly open with shock. “Okay, you said a lot of words, and by the way, it’s kinda hot when you say ‘fuck’, but did you…did you say I was your girlfriend?”

“Yes, if you want to be. We could have had this conversation sooner and saved the arguments, you know.” I give her a pointed look.

“I’m going to ask this once, are you calling me that to shut me up or do you mean it? Don’t lie to me, Finny, or I’ll break your leg with that damn hockey stick by the door.”

“If I was saying it to shut you up, I would have said it sooner. Yes, I mean it.” I tilt my head back, look up at the ceiling, and mumble, “I want to be your damn boyfriend.”

“I never thought I would hear those words, especially from you. Thank you, Valo. I want to be your girlfriend, too.”

“Good.” I lean over and kiss her. “Now, do I still get to help you? If you don’t want me to, then I won’t. I know you want to earn it, and I can respect that. I was just trying to make it a little easier for you later on.”

She thinks for a moment. “Let’s make a compromise. I’ll apply and if I can even get in, then we’ll discuss some type of payment arrangement. Deal?”

“Deal.” We finish our food and Jade sets the tray back on the nightstand. She cuddles into my side and I hold her close to me, hoping the biggest battles are over with now. There’s still one thing bugging me though. “Jade, has Gus been saying stuff like that to you the entire time?”

“I can handle him. I think he’s a little jealous I’m taking your time. He really looks up to you. But, yes, he’s a bit of an ass.”

“I’ll talk to him then.”

“Either way, I’m not going to take his shit for long. I know he’s your friend and teammate, but I’ve dealt with enough bullies in my time.”

“I know, but he said he was fine with you being here, so he can at least treat you better.”